Depression

Treatment Depression is usually treated with a combination of antidepressants and therapy. Antidepressants are drugs used to regulate mood by raising the level of chemicals in the brain that have been affected by depression. Therapy is usually used in conjunction with medication. People may speak to a therapist alone or with a group. This kind of therapy is usually aimed at helping people with depression build a positive support system and eliminate negative beliefs that may be contributing to their depression.

There are other treatments for depression, but they are rarely used–usually only as a last resort. Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) is one of these. It creates brief, powerful seizures that for reasons unknown to psychologists helps some people recover from depression.


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  • Jojo

    Hi…
    I dunno where to begin. This is going to be long… I mean really long. I think that I think waaaay too much. Much more than a 15 year old teenager should be thinking at least. I never see my friends sitting and thinking. It’s weird, that’s probably why this is going to be long, because I use a lot of words and I have a lot to say. (that rhymed :D)

    I believe I have depression. I think it started at the end of last year, but I can’t be sure. I have been searching into it… a lot and I have checked for the symptoms and whatnot and I am almost convinced it’s it now.

    I don’t know what to do about it. No, I can’t really do much about it. I know I should talk to a counselor or a teacher or doctor and any grown up that can help but if I could do that, I would’ve told someone a long time ago whenever that horrible thing happened to me. I have this strong feeling of keeping my family together. If I tell anyone about this depression I may be developing, and I feel may be getting worse, then things will go into an uproar and the routine of life we have made will be messed up.

    My father died when I was little and my mother married again when I was 8. I hated my step-dad, he was selfish, cruel and violent. I went through all the years wondering why mum had married such a beast but being too afraid to ask. At times when it seemed that she disliked him too, I would gather all my courage to ask her only to remember that time she stood up for him for something he was blaming me that I had not done. I was hurt so I never fully trusted her with everything.
    My memory has decided to play tricks on me and I have tried to slowly erase this next bit out of my mind. I can’t remember when it started, but before I realised it, there were nights where he would touch me down ‘there’ and I was very uncomfortable. I didn’t tell mum because I was scared and again, the whole turning our world upside down thing. I also didn’t want to bring anything bad to my little sisters. One night I think he actually brought his ‘thing’ towards me once and I don’t think it went in anywhere but I am still traumatised by it.

    Every time I think about it, I cry. It may not have been full rape, but it still makes me cry. I am overwhelmed with emotions I can’t explain. Even now I am crying as I write this.

    Mum had separated from him when I was around about 10 but somehow they got back together again because of some sister who believed in second chances and was foolish enough to believe he had changed. Wrong.
    My big sister got married when I was in year 6 or 7 and then I was truly scared and I felt so abandoned.

    My uncle and step dad had a fight once and my second little sister almost died in mum’s belly, but luckily ambulance made it just in time.

    At the beginning of year 9, he just got up and left. There had been months and months of tension and unrest in house and eventually he left. I spent weeks fearing that he would just barge into the house and laugh at us for being dumb enough to believe he had really left.

    A while later we moved houses and I am convinced that he isn’t coming back. A divorce was started two or three months ago but I didn’t follow it up so I don’t know if it’s completed yet.

    I have always hated my step dad. Mum doesn’t know why. She just thinks because he was just a horrible human being I didn’t like him. I can’t bring myself to tell her and whenever I think about how I could tell her, I cry.

    All this time I had been keeping diaries. I loved writing in my diaries, it kept me calm and I felt like I could just let all my thoughts roam free. I had like three or maybe four or even five. I wrote THAT much. Since I couldn’t really talk to anyone about anything, I thought writing it down was a great alternative. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Lately things have calmed down a bit. My little sisters see their dad three days every two weeks. Mum is going back to the home land and meeting up with this guy whom I hear she wants to marry. I don’t mind. He seems like a decent guy. She seems happy and I wouldn’t mind a change every once in a while.

    But… I don’t feel like myself at all. Last year the Christmas spirit I had always built up from the beginning of November all the way to the end of January never came. I didn’t build up and die down. No. It just… never came. I wasn’t excited, I just did what I thought I should do. I helped put up the tree, pretend to be Santa for the kids by putting mysterious presents under it that they would later find and compare and thank the invisible Santa ๐Ÿ™‚

    I felt happy, but not for Christmas. I am a Catholic so at least the birth of the Lord should have raised my spirits like every year but… it didn’t.

    I felt empty a lot. I slept in class at least 4 times every two weeks. I felt tired ALL the time and I hated myself all of last year. I am overweight and I hate it. I joined a volleyball club for the year but still nothing came off. I feel like no matter what I do either nothing changes or I gain weight. I hate it! It’s stupid.

    I have also started to analyse EVERYBODY. I hate my friends for the simple reason that they are humans. Yes, humans. I am one too, but I see myself outside of the human behaviour radar.

    I wait for my friends at the lockers, but none ever wait for me and when they do, a simple ‘you can go, I’ll be a while’ sends them scampering like lost deer. I hate it. I can’t have a conversation without me starting it.

    Do you ever feel like you’re just sort of THERE. Like all your friends go out and do things and have fun and do stupid things with their best friends and instead of doing all that you’re just sort of this mildly entertaining thing that people take interest in once in a while but they wouldn’t really care if it was gone. Like you just sort of EXIST but you don’t really mean anything.

    That’s how I feel a lot of the time. I sit at the table and watch everybody eat and talk, go on their laptops, phones, chat up their besties which at becoming glaringly obvious lately and I just sit and watch. I guess I don’t completely fade out, but I feel like I just shouldn’t be there. I guess I could try and start up a conversation with them, but I am just tired of doing that. Why do I always have to be the one to start a convo? I am just sick of it. I don’t want to tell them how I feel because I don’t think any of them would understand. Our group has a sort of mash up of all different types and I know each and every one of their types. I have been analysing them for the past year and a bit. I know how they all act, I know how they react to different situations and I know they personality and what they are interested in. So talking to them want really get the result I want… not that I know what result I am looking for :\

    I am not trying to blame my friends for anything here. I have just concluded that they are humans and it’s in their nature to seek what’s best for them, that’s all. I’ve also noticed that I do that a lot. Analyse people according to their category. I am have concluded that humans are selfish even if they are not aware of it. My friends aren’t horrible people… most of them anyway ๐Ÿ˜› I feel like all human kind is lost, doomed in an ever ending cycle of me, myself and I. I help them to the fullest of my potential but when it comes to my turn, there is ALWAYS something up or they don’t know how to help. -_- Humans… such pitiful creatures. I am starting to feel more and more like an alien in my own body.

    A while ago something happened that made mum ask me for all my diaries. Being the obedient daughter that I am, I gave it to her because I knew I had nothing to hide and I thought it might actually be good for her to find out how I had been feeling all these years. I only ripped out the page where I explain how I debated in my head about revealing to her what her husband did to me. I took that page out and watched it burn in the sink.

    Giving her my diary was probably the worst idea in the World! >.< She ignored all the good stuff I had written whether about her or anything at all. It's like that part became invisible somehow. She picked out all the stuff I wrote about her when she was being unfair and all the stuff I wrote about my over-seas crush I once had and the crush I have had for almost 4 years now. Our culture is against dating as it is immoral and whatnot. So no dating for Jojo! She questioned me about every single detail. I felt like I was in hell. My own home no longer felt like home. Every night she would sit on my bed and ramble on for hours and hours and I would sit there feeling so miserable. I hated her. I had always thought my mother was this gentle, understanding and naturally calm person but she showed me the side she keeps well hidden. I hated her for that. I wanted the image I had of her back, but it was shattered into millions of pieces. I couldn't stand up for my self because I didn't want to ruin things. This went on for a couple of weeks. Even though my friends saw that I was more quieter and reserved than normal, I only had a question pop from one or two of them in two weeks. ๐Ÿ™ I also don't like to talk about things so I guess that didn't help.
    When I am in a vehicle, I always wonder what would happen if a truck (has to be a truck otherwise it won't work) came crashing to us and I was the only one who died. I have thought of this a LOT. I think in different levels. Firstly I ask how would mum react: a lot of pointless tears. Sisters: More pointless tears, probably confusion and trauma as well. Others: Tears and later moving on, just another dead body. And then lastly I think about how I would feel if I just dropped dead and died that very second: I don't mind. Actually sounds like something I am looking forward to, death ๐Ÿ™‚

    I have thought of ways to kill myself, but I never attempt them because I fear limbo and God's wrath on me so I am just silently hoping that someone else will kill me, a truck will crash our car or bus or a serious disease will take my life unexpectedly.

    I feel so glum all the time. I sleep a lot. I get tired and sleepy almost all the time. I get sleepy in the bus, during a lesson where I am not being interactive and when I get home and see my bed. I also think I am developing bad eating habits. I get hungry but the moment I look at food I get a bit full and nothing appetites me at all. I just stare into the fridge or cupboard and get nothing. Mum thinks it's my bad behaviour and I am going to get even more fat. She literally said "That's a bad behaviour, do you want to do what you always do and not eat now then later get hungry at midnight and you eat then? You are going to get even more fat than you are"

    But sometimes I also keep eating and eating. I feel really weird a lot. I have had a lot of problems with my body, nothing like a broken arm, I just get pain in my joints and random spots. I have a lot of headaches. I was once diagnosed with a migraine in year 7 but I don't know if those re-occurring.

    I play tennis for club ( I just started last month) and the school one just finished. I sometimes wonder what's the point of life. I was one of those people who wished that the world would actually end in 2012. I knew it was probably just a fluke, but ti would be a lie to say that I didn't pray that God would really decided to end the world there. Silly, but I had high hopes. So when the fireworks for the new exploded, I was very disappointed.

    Today I looked out the window of our car/van thingy and I felt like what was the point of life. Everything we do will either eventually fade away or fall apart. I noted all the things mu has planned all the way to the end of January and I wondered what was the point of all that. I realised that I am not attached to ANYTHING in this world. I would be more than happy for God to call me to heaven when he pleases. I read that those attached to the human world will not find much happiness in heaven so I think I am the one looking at things proper here. But I also wrote in one of my books that God takes the ones who want to stay here to heaven in a haste while he takes his time when taking the ones that actually want to leave. So… I guess I'll be here a while especially since he knows I won't try suicide.

    I tried calling the hotline for my country but they said it was full and no one could answer me at the time being. I remember how I thought that it was so stupid to have a service that helps people but is not available when someone needs it most. I thought that I if I really was someone who would try suicide and I called and I got that message, I probably WOULD have killed myself. I also thought that in order for the capacity to be overloaded, there must be a LOT of people with issues so I pushed my issues to the back of everything.
    If I called again, I think I would freeze and hang up before I even got to say anything.

    I smile a lot when I am feeling down. I noticed that when someone greets me with a smile, I instinctively smile back even when I feel like breaking down. I really feel like crap. I hate lying and this feels like lying to people. I tell people I am okay just because it's easier than saying: 'No, I am not okay because blah, blah, blah'
    I really hate myself sometimes. I hate having people ask me 'are you okay?' I feel like they are asking a question but really they only want one answer: yes. If you choose the other option, you're strange and they usually can't take the problem you are dealing with so why not save everyone some trouble and say: Yes, I'm fine. With a giant grin on your face for extra convincing.
    Fake smiles are my trademark. I vaguely remember the genuine ones. But when the genuine ones to pop up, I realise how much they are lacking in my life.

    I feel like crap. I hate my fat body. I hate my lying self. I hate my un-opening self. I hate my step-dad. I am starting to hate all humanity. But I smile to hide the hurt.

    This got long. I did warn you. ๐Ÿ˜›

  • Caitlyn

    Hi my names caitlyn, and by reading all of this. im almost positive im depressed. it has been three years since I started realizing this. I don’t have a good family. my dad is out of my life, and me and my mom fight so much that my neighbors hear it. I use to love shopping with my grandmother, and spending time with my family. But now I stay in my room all day. I have had MANY thoughts about suicide. I’m talking about daily. And I have cut myself before, and have also done an eraser burn on myself. but i kno that if i tell my mom , and she ask’s why and I tell her the truth. It will just break into another fight. I seriously think I need help before I really do kill myself

    • Anon

      Something very important is you don’t always need drugs to help with depression. I have a bad family life too, and I think about suicide alot. I also used to cut myself. It got to the point where I was thinking of ways to kill myself in a way that my mom wouldn’t have to find my body herself. The fact that I was thinking all of that really scared me so I told my doctor about it. Now my doctor has me taking a multi vitamin, fish oils, and excercising for at LEAST 30 mins a day. It has helped me some. I also keep a journal to write down everything that gets me depressed, and that helps alot.