My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and we had decided to have sex to get closer. I recently told him I would feel regret because I’m religious, and he was completely okay with that, but we still want to get closer. We feel like we’ve gone as far as we can mentally, and neither of us really knows what we’re doing physically, so we’ve only really gotten to second base, but we both get horny. I feel like we’ve plateaued and we don’t know what the next step is without having sex. Any ideas?? Thanks!
I’m glad to hear your boyfriend respects your decision to abstain and that you feel comfortable asking him to wait. You should never rush into having sex, especially if you don’t feel okay with it — good for the both of you. And while sex definitely does bring you closer together, there are still other ways you can be physically close and intimate with your boyfriend.
I’m guessing that by second base, you mean him touching your breasts. Exploring each others’ bodies is a great start. I’m not sure what you consider “sex” and “virginity” (everyone defines them differently), but maybe you could try mutual masturbation, oral sex or anal sex instead of just vaginal intercourse. Talk about it, and see what makes you feel comfortable.
Sometimes just saying it out loud — what you want to do together — instead of actually doing it, is sexually satisfying. If you find yourself getting way too horny doing that (totally understandable), do activities that keep your mind off of sex in general. Go jogging, take walks, cuddle, or try fun new ways of kissing each other. It sounds silly and corny, but even just looking into each others’ eyes can be intimate. Let yourself enjoy every moment you spend together, and try not to feel like you’re a failure or a bad partner for sticking to your morals.
Good luck with everything, and let me know how it all goes.
What do you think she should do, gURLs? Are you saving yourself? How do you get around your own desires? I’d love to hear your thoughts below.
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