Other Girls Think I’m a Slut: What Should I Do?

santana uses a more violent approach with her haters...

Dear Heather,

I have sorta been with a lot of guys — at least 9 and I am 17 years old. It’s not that I am a whore or anything, I just have a huge sex drive. Each guy I hooked up with was someone that I liked or was dating at the time and it’s giving me a bad name and causing a lot of problems with me and other girls. What should I do ?

Unfortunately, there’s not really too much you can do. Since you know that you’re not a whore and that there’s nothing wrong with the number of guys you’ve been with, you know not to feel guilty about your sex life. The people with the real problem are the other girls who slut-shame you and try to make you feel bad. The best thing for you right now is to try to defuse the drama.

|This gURL let the boy next door watch her masturbate. Does that make her a whore?|

I don’t know how bad the problems are between you and these girls. Are they sexually harassing you? If so, like I told this gURL, talk to your parents, a teacher or a guidance counselor to get some help.

Are they just being mean and making you feel bad? Do your best to ignore their comments and hold your head up high. They may feel jealous or threatened by you, which says nothing about you as a person and everything about them. If you want to make nice with these girls, try being nice to them and let them see that you’re a totally normal gURL who’s not after anyone’s boyfriends. Sometimes people act mean out of fear and insecurity.

|Talk about your sex life judgment-free on the Shout Out Boards!|

Hang in there, and let me know how it all goes.

WDYT she should do, gURLs? Have you ever been judged for the number of people you’ve slept with? How did you handle it? Share your stories and advice below!

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

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Posted in: Being Different, Dating, Help Me Heather, Hooking Up, Love Advice, Sex, Sex, Sucky Emotions, Sucky Emotions, Your Life
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  • That-one-chick!!!

    Just be your self. So what if you like having sex as long as your not going around sleeping with other girls boyfriends or trying to hump every guy that moves.

  • Cj

    OMG WTF your 17 and dated 9 dudes and they think ur a whore. i 13 and ive dated 22!! whats that make me

    • Hi

      a slut

      • wolfgirl98

        hey dont make her feel bad, its her body. and she said DATED 22, not slept with. read it before you start hating Hi. I know girls CJs age whove dated around 30.

    • noname

      not dating… slept with

  • Dear Diane,

    I am not Heather but I read your story and wanted to give you some advice. First off, you should find out(If u don’t already know) what all happened with ur sister and uncle. If you know the whole story you might be able to talk to your sister and help her get through this. If you try to talk to to your sister but you notice she is not ready to come reach out yet, then give her space but let her know that you will always be there for her.
    You have a right to be mad at your mother. She should get herself involved because what mother wouldn’t care about something that happened to her own daughter? If your uncle really did to something horrible to her and your mom is not willing to stand up for her own daughter then you should take action. Talking to a school councilor, or teacher even will help everyone in your family.
    Hope things work out

  • eva

    as long as you know the reason why you were with them that’s all that matter the same gurls thats judging you they probably done worse then you as long as you didnt do it for the guys dont worry about what those gurls are saying its your life at the end of the day you the one that got to live it

  • eva

    gurl life is to short for you to spent your life being jealous dont think you not pretty enough thats why he left you for your friend some of the most beautiful people on earth get dump so dont be so hard on yourself and beside everyone pleases they man differently so if you no you cant do the stuff your friend does so dont, dont let anyone force you to do anything you dont want to do. you never know you might have a friend thats jealous of you and feeling the same way. and one thing i dont want to hear is you thinking about suicide theres nothing on this earth that should make you have that thought just think whatever you going through now theres someone else thas going through worse. just learn how to deal with the pain and stop lettin your world revolves around guys u will learn you’ll be much happier that way.

  • Diane

    Dear Heather,
    A last month my uncle (from my mother’s side of the family) went to my family’s house when my 2nd oldest sister was at home to pick up stuff for our cousins. He as my sister described was normal at first till he asked her If I was home yet, if any of our other family members were home, and when our father would be out of work. Then before he left he hugged her tightly (something that he doesn’t normally do) and he kissed her on the neck for awhile(also something he doesn’t normally do). When I got home that day a hour or so after that happened my sister was mad, then it quickly turned to sadness I had never seen her cry that much before and I knew she was hurting when she told our parents our mother didn’t believe her but our father did. Our mother started crying and had a very sad look on her face the very same one she had when she found out her other brother had died in a car crash. Our father told us that he couldn’t do anything about our uncle because he was our mother’s brother and that she had to ask about what he did etc. She hasn’t done anything about it. Our uncle asks our parents if my sister that he kissed could go with him to the movies but she declines because she doesn’t want something worse to happen to her and I don’t blame her. I’m starting to resent my mother for not doing anything about this and I’m not sure if thats normal or not. So heather how can I stop being mad at my mother, how can I get her to ask my uncle what the hell that was what he did was and how can I help my sister because I know that it still bothers her and I feel just as helpless and not knowing of how to help her as that same day?

  • Diane

    Dear Heather,
    I’m horribley jealous of my friends and I hate being jealous of them but when I get a bf I don’t want him to meet them because of one of my exes who left me for a friend(s). Ever since then I feel like I can’t trust either of my friends or bfs and its horribley affecting me. I hate knowing guys that are cute that know my friends because I always feel like they will ALWAYS choose them over me so I feel like giving up on dating, I feel like I’m not pretty, or worth any guy’s time at all, sometimes I even consider sucide, and because of what I’ve done with guys in the past (who have all except one left me for someone else) it makes me feel sick and because of my x that left me for my friend(s) I always just feel sick because I know some of what they had done together and I know what she does now and I just kinda hate her because she’s pretty and she knows hot guys and like I just really don’t know how to deal with my jealousy anymore. I even tried not being friends with her but she kept telling me that we could work things out. But the more we talk about our sexual lives the more I feel like not worth anything to a guy because I won’t do the things she does and even though I think she’s a slut I still consider her a friend but Idk I’m getting mixed feelings because of this all so what should I do Heather?

    Thanks!:D