All of My Friends Are Ditching Me! Even My BFF!

unfort, not every friendship can be picture-perfect.

Dear Heather,

I had this giant group of friends that all used to hang out together. Now they exclude me, even my ex-best friend. She won’t talk to me, and I really only talk to two or three of the girls out of nine. I miss my ex-best friend and have sent her texts asking her to please respond and that I want to fix our problems, but she doesn’t respond.

I have another really good friend who’s helping me get by but I feel really left out when they’re talking about events they decided not to invite me to.

I’m really sorry to hear that your friends are ditching you. People are constantly changing and trying to figure out who they are as they get older, and sometimes we take out our frustrations and insecurities on the people closest to us. Who knows what things could be making your friends change and act this way? There are so many possibilities and not all are obvious. Whatever the case, remember their behavior is probably about them and not about you.

|Are your friends causing drama for no good reason? Vent on the Shout Out Boards!|

You did the right thing by trying to make up with your ex-best friend, and the way she responded is pretty immature and definitely not fair to you. A gURL recently wrote in who sounded like she was on her end of the conversation. Rather than spending your time on a friendship like that, I suggest letting go and focusing on the friends who actually make you happy. I know you were used to having a giant group of BFFs, but it’s the sad truth that as gURLs grow up, they grow apart.

And for the gURL who still is a really good friend, maybe you can talk to her privately and ask hey why everyone is ditching you. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was because they’re all just trying really hard to be cool. For some reason, people — bullies — have the habit of singling out one person to be mean to in order to make themselves seem like they have more power, so that they’re not the one getting left out. I know it’s messed up. On the bright side, not all gURLs are like that. Maybe it’s time you find a few new pals who don’t have the same insecurities and hang-ups as your old crew does. It might be hard at first, but you’ll be better off in the long run.

|This gURL is really shy and has no idea how to open up to new people. See what tips Heather has for her!|

Good luck, and let me know what happens.

WDYT, gURLs? Have your friends have randomly ditched you? What happened? Did you ever make up? Share your stories and advice below!

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

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Posted in: Being Different, Friends, Help Me Heather, Sucky Emotions, Sucky Emotions
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  • a lonely gorl:(

    alrighty. OMG I am like legit amazed. we have the EXACT same problem and story there is this b**** girl A and my bestfriend O and we r in a group of 15 I got ditched and everyone turned on me for no reason, but it got better after 3 months, I ws Soo depressed!!!!! but now its happening again! so our group recently split into twwo and I’m with A O S E J, except A was and still is mean to me I just went on instafan they r all at and any restaurant without me I feel hopeless again my old best friend O ditched me for the mean girl A and E tool my place… I’m hopeless.. AGAIN:(

  • Kate

    Thanks for helping me. Recently, my friend D and other friends, K and B had an argument, so D left us at the table and sat somewhere else. I have taled to D because she is my best friend, but she showed me some text messages in which she and K talked and K called me a spy and bad names just for hanging out with D. What can I do? No everyone at the table is ignoring me, including all the other other people! K and B have turned from really good friends, to means, gossipy people who just want to tell people what to do. They are having a party and not inviting me, I feel so left out. And, everyone else has also turned kind of snobbish and mean. What can I do? I wish to move, but these are my only ‘friends’. Please help me!

  • Ashley

    I know how you feel. My friends seem like they could care less about me and it hurts, but you just have to keep a positive outlook on everything. I find it easier if i just think of the good things that did happen to me that day and just foucus on that. Also hanging out with guys is easier because they dont have cliques as much as girls do. Just stay positive and find some new people who appreciate you more! 🙂

  • Abbie

    I know how you feel. I used to have a big group of friends at school that we literally did everything with. Its like one minute everything is fine, then after not meeting up after school a few times, you start missing out on events and their conversations become unrelatable because you weren’t there. By the time you blink, you realize you’re not getting invited to their parties anymore and they don’t even acknowledge your presence. The worst thing is I actually know that one of my friends is generally so naive and oblivious that she probably doesn’t realize what’s happening, while another ex-friend is blatantly blanking me unless she wants to know something or if my other friend is talking to me. I so want to talk to to my friend about it but I don’t want to seem like the bitch, especially because I’m still hurt and I know she won’t understand anyway. She’s like the one who everyone wants to be close to, and it’s really unfair because we were so close before- going to each other’s house, going to school together, sharing advice, now we don’t even talk much. She’s never been alone, so I know she wouldn’t understand and it just hurts to know I’ve lost a friend.

  • Why don’t you just move on and make new frieds ,I know itcan be hard and you will still miss your ex-bestfrind but eventually you wil feel better.I’m not just saying this as my ex-group of friends pushed me and I got really despressed and started not going to school because they picked on me but I started to go to school again and acting like I didn’t want to be friends and ade new friends and they lost intreset in me.

  • bellaa

    i know how you feel.. i recently also broke up with my friend 'cause she

    kept on ignoring me for some reason. we used to always hang out on

    reccess or lunch but everytime she's not there. i even tried calling her &

    stuff, she never answered or picked up. the next time i saw her, she didnt

    even bother talking to me. i was so crushed, but luckily i found a new best

    friend who likes me for who i am. friends come and go, like heather said.

    sometimes the old friends you had were just not worth it, 'cause they gave

    up on you.

  • Sarah

    I know how you feel. I had a few friends at my old school (that I thankfully left) that I could trust with anything. I told them that I was moving and suddenly I felt as if everyone turned against me (and of course I had to tell them a MONTH before I actually left). I was bullied by one of my so called "friend" and she basically would talk behind my back, have her friends cyber bully me, and would say the meanest things to my face. Luckily I'm not at that school anymore but I tried to find new groups of friends which successfully happened. Just keep your head up and make new friends, and you'll be way happier. Their not true friends if they ditch you like that!!