Is It Bad to Flirt With Other Guys If I Have a Boyfriend? I Just Think It’s Fun?!

think this looks harmless?

Dear Heather,

I love the guy I’m with, but sometimes I find myself flirting with other guys. It’s harmless and sometimes gives me a boost of self confidence, but is it really as harmless as I think?

Flirting can be completely harmless. It’s sometimes nice to get attention from people other than our sweeties, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting the boost of confidence. But if you’re worried about upsetting your boyfriend, talk with him about it and keep your relationship as honest as possible.

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Remember that every person is really different, and everyone defines flirting differently. Some people can handle their sweeties jokingly touching others, and some people don’t even feel comfortable with flirty talking (or texting). While this may have to do with a person’s self-esteem and own insecurities, other times it’s totally just a personal issue that’s hard to explain. There’s no right or wrong way to feel.

But if your boyfriend is not down with it, I suggest having a conversation about the subject — especially if you enjoy the thrill of flirting. Would you be jealous if he flirted with other gURLs? Would you ever say/do anything to another guy that wouldn’t say/do in front of your boyfriend? Consider his feelings… and consider yours, too.

|This gURL’s not down with her best friend flirting with her boyfriend. Should she confront her? See what Heather says!|

While it’s perfectly reasonable if your bf isn’t cool with the flirting, it’s not okay if he doesn’t like you talking to other guys (or other people, period). A good relationship is one with trust — the tricky part is walking that line and seeing how comfortable you both are with it.

Good luck! Let me know how everything goes, okay?

What about you, gURLs? Do you ever flirt with other people? Does your sweetie? Do either of you care? Share your stories and advice below!

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

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Posted in: Cheating, Dating, Help Me Heather, Love Advice, Love&Sex
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  • charley

    I have no intention of cheating, its a natural reflex when I flirt with people its meant as a joke its just the way I talk to people. My boyfriend says its disrespectful to flirt with people while im with him. It’s causing so many arguments because we both think we’re right in what we say, advice? X

  • eva

    it might be fun now but it might lead to something else if you know you don’t want to cheat on your man don’t put yourself in that position