How Do I Get Over My Shyness?

look familiar?

Hey Heather,

I have no confidence or self-esteem whatsoever. I’m always comparing myself to other girls and I’m always so shy because of it. When I’m with my friends, I’m crazy and like non-stop talking, but in school, I don’t talk at all because I’m not confident or anything. And I’m 14, so I’m at that age where I want to talk to guys and stuff but I can’t. How would I be able get my confidence level up and get over my shyness?

Everyone gets shy sometimes. It’s totally normal to feel that way, but if you don’t stop your negative behavior soon, you’re going to miss out on a lot of great opportunities because you’re so hard on yourself.  I know it might feel like other gURLs have great confidence and amazing self-esteem, but so many people feel the way that you do at one point or another — some of us are better at hiding their insecurities than others. The key is to not let it stop you from doing things or meeting other people.

There’s never any need to be shy on the Shout Out Boards!

An easy way to get your confidence level up is to change the way you think. When you’re feeling shy in a conversation, try not to focus on yourself and whatever is making you self-conscious; concentrate on the other person and what is interesting about her or him. Many times, even though you feel shy, other people can’t tell.

It’s a great sign that you have a group of friends who you feel comfortable around. Obviously, these people like the outgoing, chatty you — and other people will, too! School can be really stressful for anyone since you’re trying to learn, hang out with friends, scope out crushes, and do a lot of things at once. Go easy on yourself, and try to talk and be friendly to the people you sit near in classes. They may even be shy themselves and might be really glad that you started talking to them first.

Do you have poor self-esteem? Quiz it and find out!

Good luck, and let me know how it goes.

What do you think, gURLs? Are you shy? How do you get yourself to speak up? Share your thoughts and advice below!

take care,

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at

more ways to get gURLy:

Posted in: Being Different, Body & Health, Body Image, Body Issues, Dating, Friends, Help Me Heather, Love Advice, School, Sucky Emotions, Sucky Emotions
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  • Lucy

    I’m really shy and am only normal around my best friends, but after I tried to make my point about something, it’s kind of awkward.

  • America

    I’m just the way you are, but slowly I’ve started to being less shy and have somewhat confidence in me. I’d say just slowly start doing things you wouldn’t have ever done.

  • I find it really hard to talk to my crush, hes like really nice and I want to start a conversation it’s just everytime I go to talk to him, I worry about whether i’m going to say something wrong, or be stupid D: xx

  • Maria

    thats exatly how I am!
    I’m just Rlly self conscious about myself & the way I look , since I’m slightly overweight . >.<
    also I get nervous or easily embarrassed, & my face gets supper red!!! & I hate dat. :c
    What could I bout that.? Dats why I'm shy, I have to get comfortable with ppl before the true me comes out.
    So yeah, dats just me. :/ :p

    • im kinda overweight too im still figuring out how 2 get over my shyness but im people have higher expectations nd they actually notice me when i walk down the halls:D:)

  • bellaa

    i'm really shy too and i totally understand you're problem.

    i hope heather's advice worked for you! 🙂

  • Luvli

    I was like that. I started being myself and now, I am a very popular girl. I kinda have a scene emo style…. but I am respected because I treat others nice. Just be nice and start a convo! 🙂