Reader Hookup Confession: I Don’t Want Him Going Down On Me

Believe it or not, not everyone likes oral. What do you do if you don’t want anyone going down south? Is it a blessing or a curse? Find out why this gURL doesn’t want her sweetie eating her out, and how it’s messing up her relationship:

“So my bf has decided that he’s not gonna let me do anything to him unless I let him go down on me. Neither of us have ever done it, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. He wants to, cause he wants to make me come, and he doesn’t like the inequality (cause I go down on him).

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I’m kinda freaked by it. Like, I don’t want to gross him out with my vagina-ness. He told me it won’t gross him out at all, but idk… Does it really feel that good? And like, am I just being silly?”

Is this gURL worrying over nothing? What do you think she should do? Do you hate oral? And, want to share your own Confession? Send it in to askanexpert@gurl.com!

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Posted in: Confessions, Health, Sex & Relationships, Hookup Confessions, Love&Sex, Your Life
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  • Maria

    I was dating this guy who was a virgin. I definitely was not a virgin, but was excited to take his. One day he came over my house and we went upstairs in my room. I had told him to buy condemns and he pulled them out of his pocket. Things started to get hot and we started making out. Once we started having sex it felt really good. We kept switching up positions which was a big mistake. Somehow my legs were over his shoulder and he accidentally slipped out. When he put it back in he went in the wrong hole. I twisted and shouted with pain. He was completely shocked and confused. It was the worst pain ever. I was crying and he didn’t know what he did wrong. Eventually, I managed to tell him what had happened. His virginity wasn’t the only one taken that day. He was super embarrassed but i was too scared to ever have sex with him again so I broke up with him shortly after.

    • ccrunner4815

      Maria- That was unfortunate that the accident couldn’t have turned positive. Hopefully you didn’t scar him for life!

  • Leah

    I haven’t let a guy go down on me yet, I have read some erotic stories online just to get a feel of what it may be like, and what I noticed was that most of the stories talk about girls having slits, and my vagina is not just a slit, if you get what I mean. You could say I’m self conscious of the type of vagina that I have, sounds silly but I can’t help it!!!! What do I do???

  • brian

    My present wife was like you, until I did it to her anyway. After about 30 seconds, she was like `why didn´t we do this before, this is awesome!` And she actually cried with emotion she was so happy when she came. Let him do it, it turns us on big-time. It is not icky, it is heavenly. We can´t help but love it. Let him decide if it is `ìcky` or not.

  • Frankie

    My boy is the same way and sometimes I get self conscious but when you think about it fair is fair. But I think it’d be good for you two to talk it out and discuss why you’re not comfortable and what you both can do to help with that.

  • Tiffanyy

    I think that anyone who is against it either has had a negative experience or has never tried it. I know I was self concious about it before I tried but I could tell my boyfriend really wanted to so I gave him a chance. Now we always use it as foreplay and it’s great. Just remember to always keep an open mind!

  • lilsmurffette82

    honestly I think oral is gross… For one u pee down and u really only wipe and not wash and two it is unsantairy and i have had some bad experices with oral sex…But u really do have to be comferable with ur self and ur partner….and if he cant respect u then he will never respect how u feel think or anything i tell my boyfriend it is gross and he tells me ok and he likes its and still goes down on me after i go shower first just cause u pee and he never asks me to do it back

  • Jay

    YOLO! haha nah, I’m kidding. Seriously though, at first, I wasn’t too comfortable with the idea. I was self conscious about my body type, what it looked like down there, and how a guy would see me if he went down on me. But, having not ever watched porn or heard other people’s experiences, and I know this sounds weird to say, but I’d think to myself, if I was a guy, how would I see it down there? I also realized that I wasn’t comfortable with myself yet. And before you can be comfortable with a guy going down on you, whether it’s eating you out or fingering you, you have to know what it feels like yourself. Of course, you can’t experience what it feels like to eat someone out unless you’re into girls, but experiencing what they call “masterbating” helps you become more comfortable with yourself. But if you’re not comfortable with yourself, or comfortable with someone else going down on you, then you shouldn’t go for it. It never hurts to try though. When I finally let go and became confident about it, I couldn’t have became more sure. And trust me, if the guy didn’t like it, he wouldn’t want to do it again.

  • Brookie

    im scared to do it to i mean it sounds gross

  • jessjayhatch

    If your going to have sex before your married at least wait to have oral sex until your married. Dont go boyfriend to boyfriend giving free blowjobs. its just disgusting.

  • Billy

    I think our bodies are meant to react positively towards oral sex…if its done RIGHT. I am sure anyone could find pleasure from it if they were with someone who was good at it. I personally have had negative experiences with oral sex…but that’s because the dude was not skilled. give it a go if you want to, and say no if it sucks! keep an open mind 😛

  • Nicki

    are you guys serious?
    having someone eat you out feels AMAZING. you shouldn’t be ashamed of your vagina. you need to be comfortable with your body before sharing it with someone else.

  • Anonymous

    I highly suggest you don’t do it.
    From past experience, my boyfriend dropped his gum and lets just say it put me in an extremely “sticky” situation.
    I personally don’t think it is very pleasurable anyhow!
    Don’t do it!

    • Sam

      OMG you let ur bf blow you with gum in his mouth????

  • Shona

    Well, I don’t know about anyone else in this commenting section, buuuut. I’m with you. For several reasons.

    One is your reason. Cause seriously? Have most girls even seen a vagina? (I don’t go looking at my own in a mirror, but me and my friend watched porn once, only because I wanted to gross her out) It looks freaky. And gross. If I was a dude I’d be like “OH GOD KILL IT WITH FIRE!”

    Second reason: Wouldn’t you feel really self concious? Cause I’m naturally a very easily embarassed person with men, and if he purposely had his eyes looking at my fugly thing the world calls a vagina I would be redder than a red sharpie.

    And third: I have a little bit of a bad past expirience with it that affects my opinion on recieving oral.

    So all in all, I have two things of advice for you.

    One: If you really aren’t comfortable with it and do not want to recieve oral EVER, be sure to make that very clear to him, and if he still refuses to hold out on yo because of that, you might want to re-think your relationship.

    Two: Tell him to wait until you’re comfortable with the idea or consider fingering. (I feel awkward saying that. :/)

  • playful

    i used to think like u, that it’s gross both ways, him going down and me going down…so i let my boyfriend know first-hand that when we’re intimate, i wont go down on him…he asked why and i let him know that, one: i’ve watched porn and seen women do it and they just look so dirty and i was afraid he would somehow lose respect for me, and two: i would find it super gross to go down on his private area where he pees out of…he just laughed at me and explained that its normal to go down, its part of sex and that as long as i do it with him and only to him while we’re in a relationship, that i shouldnt worry about looking dirty, and that men really enjoy that…but he didnt force me to do it, only when i felt like giving it a try…he right away went down on me cus he says he loves going down also…i was conscious, as any women is their first time doing something…but its actually really good, gets u more in the mood and horny…a few days later, i decided to go down and i guess its not so bad…i guess it depends how clean ur man is, and mines is pretty clean, so i dont really worry now…i love when his legs tremble of enjoyment while i do it…give it a try only when ur reay and if u’re in a serious relationship with only one guy {monogamous relationshiop}

  • Missy

    well being in a relationship, you have to be patient at times. nd even if he’s tired of waiting he should be more worried about how comfortable you are with things.

  • anna

    doing oral is really normal..nowadays its part having sex, its very very normal..but it really depends on u if u want him to go down. if your not comfortable with it don’t do it..but u know what it feels really good..

  • Johny

    It’s gross. Even you going on down on him is gross. Leave it for prostitudes. You better do missionary vaginal only, that’s the best thing to do.

  • chelisha

    DO WHAT YOU WANT CAUSE ITS YOU WHO HAS TO LIVE WITH IT ITS FOR THE BEST
    BETWEEN YOU AND ME IT FELY REALLY GOOD 🙂 :0