Everyone At School Saw My Hickey and Now My Reputation is Ruined

vanessa stepped out without covering hers, too!

Hi Heather,

I recently showed up to school with a hickey on my neck, and at first, I didn’t think anyone would notice, but on the second day, all my friends told me it was visible. Even teachers saw it! It must have been uncomfortable and weird for them to be looking at me. Then the third day, my mother confronted me about it.

When we talked, she confessed about her first hickey, and she got it when she was my age. She also confessed that she showed up to school with one. She told me it is common etiquette to simply “cover up,” which I regret not doing.

I feel so humiliated and stupid for not covering it up with at least a band aid or a scarf… but I didn’t want to seem suspicious. I’ve lost my dignity and reputation.

Words of comfort please? I feel so ashamed…

There’s no right way to deal with having a hickey. It’s great that your mom talked to you about it (I love that she shared her own hickey story with you!), and she’s right that it’s common etiquette to cover them up. I do want to add, though, that it’s your body and your hickey, and that it’s not really anyone else’s business or choice on whether or not you should cover it up.

|What’s a hickey? How do they happen? How do you get rid of them? Find out everything you’d ever want to know about those little neck bruises!|

You shouldn’t feel ashamed, humiliated, stupid, or anything! People get hickeys all the time — they’re not dangerous or contagious, so there’s no medical reason for people to freaked out by them. Some people shame and pressure gURLs into covering up those love bites (and ourselves in general) because they feel uncomfortable about sexuality… hickeys do come from kissing, after all. And other people just find those bruises a little bit icky to see. Whatever the case, it’s really their problem and not yours.

At the same time, if you just don’t want to deal with people staring or talking about it, covering it up for next time (as you know) will prevent the drama. A little bit of make up on the bruise, a band aid, or a scarf is only as suspicious as you make it seem.

|This gURL tried to have sex but it didn’t really work. Find out what went wrong!|

Keep your head up high and ignore the haters. They’ll forget it about it in a few days and leave you alone. And just remember — (almost) everyone gets ’em!

What about you, gURLs? Have you gotten a hickey? Did other people see it? Share your stories and advice below!

take care,

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

more ways to get gURLy:

Posted in: Dating, Help Me Heather, Love Advice, School, Sex, Sex, Sucky Emotions, Sucky Emotions
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  • Serah

    On time I had this problem but it wasn’t a real hickey, I had ziped my jacket and my skin got caught in the zipper and everyone was like “OMG what that? ” and I was like “my zipper damage fool!”

  • RobynDawn

    Don't worry chicka! Everyone's up there with you. I got one one time and my mom almost caught me…then I woulda been grounded! I'm soo lucky my mom didnt see..but my friends did and they made fun of me..just joke right along with em! Act dramatic, its funn:)

  • afia

    I also found out that a great way to get rid of hickey is putting some ice on it or a cold spoon. Pretty much anything cold.

  • Christine

    Hickeys can be nerve-wrecking for everyone to see, trust me ive had my fair share lol. But anyways like heather said, hickeys come and go and your not the only one thats had them. knowing school, something drama-filled will happen soon and everyone is going to forget about your hickey. Heres a remedy on getting rid of them: Take a tablespoon, like one you eat cereal with, and rock it back and forth on the hickey. Also keep icing it. All a hickey is is a bruise, so treat it like one. Its not going to go away right away but keep at it for an hour or so, depending on how big it is.

  • natalie

    having a hickey doesnt ruin your rep