I’m So Mad at Everyone All the Time!

Hi Heather,

Ever since my boyfriend left me (because he turned out to be gay), I just wanna stab people. Yesterday I was so mad, I told my mom I’d butcher her in her sleep. I also stabbed my best friend with a fork at lunch and she won’t talk to me now. I feel like it’s their fault for being stupid, and that I’m not even doing anything wrong. Do you think this is normal? Do you think I am crazy?

It must have been really hard for you when you boyfriend left you. I’m sure you felt devastated, abandoned, and like you had no control over anything. We all react to those awful feelings in different ways — sometimes gURLs get sad and depressed, and others (what sounds like your case) get really, really angry. When our emotions start to mess up our relationships with our family and friends and lead to violent thoughts and even physical harm, it’s time to take back control before things get really serious.

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Do I think your behavior is normal? Well, a lot of people do use violence to deal with their feelings, but it’s not okay, fair, or healthy to. Even if jokingly stabbing someone with a fork or telling a loved one that you’re going to murder them doesn’t seem serious to you, it is scary and very real to the people on the receiving end. Violent threats are (and should be) taken extremely seriously, and just making one can get you in a lot of trouble.

You should talk to a trusted friend, parent, school counselor, or therapist about all of your anger in order to learn how to manage it. Or, if you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone in person about what you’re going through, call a hotline like 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433), where there are people to talk to every single day, at every hour of the day about all of those sucky emotions you’re feeling. It’ll feel good to let it all out, and that’s when you’ll begin to feel better.

|Heather helps a gURL who deals with her problems by cutting. Have you ever cut?|

I don’t think you’re crazy, though. I think you’re a gURL who is hurting deeply on the inside and just needs someone to listen to you and love you.

Good luck, and let me know if you ever need anything else.

What do you think, gURLs? Have you ever felt so mad you just wanted to hurt people (or yourself)? How’d you get help? Share your stories and advice below!

take care,

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

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Posted in: Everything Else, Family, Friends, Help Me Heather, Sucky Emotions, Sucky Emotions
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  • Lori

    not to be rude or anything, but you must be out your damn mind to tell your mother that! if I were her and you said that to me, you woulda been out my house before you could finish your sentence, regardless of whatever age you may be. I know this is old, but really, NOBODY found it PSYCHO that she threatened to kill her mother?! she needs more than just talking to someone, she needs RELIGION!

  • Katy

    i feel your pain here gurlie. my now ex boyfriend turned out to be bi, he told me i was a s**t girlfriend and i was that bad he turned to guys, i felt so bad. i felt like it was my fault and that i was a s**t girlfriend, it still hurts now. but not as much, im even scared of it happeningg again. you just gota let it go and try not to get mad over it, because at the end of the day its his choice and you have no control over it. and if you just let it go as much as you can and try to ignore it and what ever else you get from being with him. its like being totaly in love with a boy… eventually you do get over it. and that will happen away, for me its been nearly a year and yeah i still remember what happens, i dont likw what he did and i still dont like him now. and we've gone our seperate ways, and im going through a tough time in my life right now, but trust me the problems of growing up do get worse. and this is just a tiny problem. you will be fine, give yourself time to heal and try and see a counsellor of seek professional advice about it. thankfully i wasnt that bad, but if your threatening to harm your mother or someone else you really need to see a professional or seek anger management or something like that. SERIOUSLY! you will end up hurting yourself more if you hurt someone you care about. take care of your self too!

  • Tara

    my sister did something like that. She found put that her boyfriend was cheating on her and she went crazy! She went drinking and turned violent, i didnt even want to know her at that time. But then she had a really close friend to talk to and that got her back on track. Shes got a new boyfriend called Jake and has moved on. She doesnt fully trust boys, but shes getting better. Things will change you just need to talk and get it over with. 🙂