Ever since my boyfriend left me (because he turned out to be gay), I just wanna stab people. Yesterday I was so mad, I told my mom I’d butcher her in her sleep. I also stabbed my best friend with a fork at lunch and she won’t talk to me now. I feel like it’s their fault for being stupid, and that I’m not even doing anything wrong. Do you think this is normal? Do you think I am crazy?
It must have been really hard for you when you boyfriend left you. I’m sure you felt devastated, abandoned, and like you had no control over anything. We all react to those awful feelings in different ways — sometimes gURLs get sad and depressed, and others (what sounds like your case) get really, really angry. When our emotions start to mess up our relationships with our family and friends and lead to violent thoughts and even physical harm, it’s time to take back control before things get really serious.
Do I think your behavior is normal? Well, a lot of people do use violence to deal with their feelings, but it’s not okay, fair, or healthy to. Even if jokingly stabbing someone with a fork or telling a loved one that you’re going to murder them doesn’t seem serious to you, it is scary and very real to the people on the receiving end. Violent threats are (and should be) taken extremely seriously, and just making one can get you in a lot of trouble.
You should talk to a trusted friend, parent, school counselor, or therapist about all of your anger in order to learn how to manage it. Or, if you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone in person about what you’re going through, call a hotline like 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433), where there are people to talk to every single day, at every hour of the day about all of those sucky emotions you’re feeling. It’ll feel good to let it all out, and that’s when you’ll begin to feel better.
I don’t think you’re crazy, though. I think you’re a gURL who is hurting deeply on the inside and just needs someone to listen to you and love you.
Good luck, and let me know if you ever need anything else.
What do you think, gURLs? Have you ever felt so mad you just wanted to hurt people (or yourself)? How’d you get help? Share your stories and advice below!
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