My mom told me a few days ago that we’re moving to Virginia on August 1. I’m a sophomore and have lived in Minnesota all my life. My biggest problems are that I’m terrified of being the new kid in school, not having anyone the rest of my high school life, and that I don’t know how to tell my friends.
Please help me, Heather!
The way I see it, there’s two ways to look at this: You could feel disappointed and stressed out and worry about moving. Or you could take this as a fresh start and get excited for what the future can hold. Since you don’t have too much say in the situation, there’s not too much else you can do.
I know it seems really sucky that you have to move away from your friends and everything comfy and cozy, but a new school means a clean slate and a whole new world — but not overwhelmingly so. While being the new kid can be scary, our society is so wired and connected that the stuff the people like and care about in Minnesota won’t be too different in Virginia. Plus, you can use the opportunity to be exactly the gURL you want to be — goodbye, old reputation! (And hey, if you like your current rep, just be yourself at the new school and you’ll maintain it in the new place.)
When you say not having anyone the rest of your high school life, I’m guessing that means no “real” friends or no boyfriend. Totally not true. While friendships and relationships often get better with time, they don’t take a lifetime to form. Talk to people. Hang out. Join a club or a sport. Give new experiences a chance. It doesn’t take years and years to get a sweetie or a friend. In fact, for most gURLs, it’s just a matter of days from the point where they meet a person they’re into until they’re official.
Telling your friends about the big move can be a little tricky. Since you’re not the one who’s deciding to leave, it’s obvious that you have no control over it and it’s not your fault. Your friends will be more sad to see you go than anything else, but remember that people show their emotions in different ways. If some friends act angry or rude, it could just be that they’re hurting inside and are going to miss you and it’s not that they’re actually mad at you, they’re mad at the situation. Just make sure you break it to them all at once so noone feels left out or like they were the last to find out.
But try not to cling to the past. If you don’t make a new life for yourself in VA, then you’re never going to be really happy. I’m sure you’ll be too busy having fun and making friends to let that happen, though. It might be hard at first, but later in life when you’ll start new jobs, new schools, new everything in new places, you’ll be way ahead of the people who never had a real challenge in their life.
Let me know how it goes, okay?
Any gURLs out there ever have to move and be the new kid? What was it like? Share your stories and tips below!
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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