I’m Not Popular, Heather! Can I Get a Prom Date?

must we still expect him to do everything!?

Hi Heather,

As most high school seniors know, prom is coming up. I’ve not always been the most “popular” girl ever, but I really want someone to ask me. I’m friends with this guy I really want to go with, but I’m not sure if he even wants to go to prom. How can I get a prom date?

Being popular might make it easier to snag a date, but it doesn’t mean that you won’t get asked. But I have to ask you, why can’t you be the one to ask?  Why do you care about being asked? The way your question was worded makes me worry. While it’s natural to stress out about a prom date, it almost seems that you feel that being asked to prom would give you some sort of validation of some level of your popularity; that somehow, you’re going to have more fun, or climb higher up the ranks of your school’s hierarchy because you got asked.

|Want to know who you’ll go to prom with? Well, we don’t have a crystal ball, but this new quiz will definitely help!|

Here’s the thing (as I’m sure you know already — after all, you’re nearly done with high school and have lived and breathed it for the past 4 years): popularity is not worth. Popularity is not validity. Popularity is not personality, talent, personal-strength nor is it, in any way, a judge of your character, looks, intelligence or value.

So I ask again, why do you care if you get asked to prom? In my opinion, prom should be about having fun. If you think this boy will be the one you could have the best time with, I totally think you should bring it up. Maybe he’s too shy. Or maybe he’s on the fence and looking for a good excuse to go. Maybe he isn’t planning on going but would change his mind if you were in the picture. But the point is, don’t wait for other people to plan your destiny. Take it into your own hands and control your own happiness.

|If all else fails, at least you know that you can ALWAYS Make Your Own Prom Night on gURL!|

I’ll admit, I really wanted a guy to ask me to senior prom, and I dropped what I thought were hints, but he didn’t ask and ended up taking some random gURL. I went with my BFF (a gURL too) only to find out at the after-prom that he really wanted to ask me but was too nervous. I look back and think, dang, all I had to do was woman up and stop dropping hints and just ask him. Casually, cooly, in a way that didn’t seem like I was too excited. Something like “Hey Nick, I don’t know if you’ve figured out your prom plans or not, but don’t you think we would have a lot of fun if we went together?” Nerve wracking, yes. But worth the few moments of awkwardness for a night of fun and a lifetime of memories knowing that I was confident enough to put myself out there? Totally.

If he doesn’t agree, it’s OK, he’s not the ONLY person you’ll have fun with! But realize that you’re awesome no matter how popular you might be at your school and that anyone you go with is lucky to share those memories with you.  And you to them! Enjoy this special time as much as you can and don’t forget to shred up that dance floor.

|Planning on drinking at prom? Or ever? Well, we’re not scaring you, but you should read this first.|

gURLs, have you ever asked someone out to a school dance? Successes, failures, whatever — Tell me below!

take care,

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

more ways to get gURLy:

Posted in: Dating, Help Me Heather, Love Advice, School, Sucky Emotions, Sucky Emotions
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  • Rebecca2017

    Hi, I am Rebecca and I’m a senior at my high school and so Prom is in April 2017 and I already asked my bff Preston if he wants to go. He said he’ll have to think about it first then tell me. But it’s been 5 days and no response. How can I ask him to go again nicely? I really want to know, thank you. Oh and prom is not till April 14, 2017. And I have to know if he wants to go because money isn’t due till April 7th 2017.

  • analia

    hi . i am a senoir this year and i dont have a prom date yet, and i thinks i am not going to have one since all my handsome classmates are already taken .the only one left is not that cool though.Please tell me what to do

  • Megan

    I asked a boy once for homecoming and he told me. I want to go but not wit you. We were best friends. Not so much anymore he was so rude about it. I’ve asked boys out got turned down nicely so I know the difference. I asked the boy I really wanted to go with to prom but he is working. But he is also kinda starting to be a jerk. I had a guy who is away in college tell me he wish he could be here to take me to prom. I really just want a guy to walk with me down the senior walk.

  • Jenni

    i asked a guy out to my prom, and he seemed enthused! Everything was perfect and i was on cloud nine… then he tells me the week before prom that he cant go with me because he had booked somthing importand with his family the same weekend. I tried to be mature about it.. ireally did… BUT then i found out that this whole thing was just a lie and that he actually could not go with me because he had a girlfriend. I feel disgusted/ hurt… Well whatever! the only thing i can think of doing right now is rocking my dress and holding my head up high.. So ladies, IF you EVER get cancelled by your prom date, i suggest you to walk in head held high, full of dignity and ask all your closest guy friends to take the picture with you!
    good luck to the other broken hearts out there,

  • Heidi

    I’m not a “popular” girl either, but I’m quite outspoken and outgoing, but my friends and I planned for the longest time to find prom dates. I started chatting with this senior who i thought was really fun etc. and I worded exactly what I was going to say when I was going to ask him, but instead I just said…do you want to go to prom…he said “sure” but I think he was a little shy and didn’t expect it. I ended up having the best time ever and getting a great friendship out of it! Don’t be afraid to ask girls, sometimes they are so stinking shy! Give it a shot though, and maybe you’ll have a great time too! (That was my last years prom, but this year there isn’t another boy like last year to ask so I think I’ll just go with my bff) Good luck to all they girls asking dates!

  • Janie

    I attempted asking my best guy friend who I have a thing for. Yeah it didn’t work out. Anyway I was turned down five times but everything worked out.

    • Chianti

      Why 5 times