How do I tell my mom that I’m pregnant?
I wish that this answer was a whole lot easier than it is. Their reactions are the real issue here, but first, let me recommend that you tell her with a purpose. Do you want to have this baby? Are you going to her for help with how to keep it? Or are you considering abortion? Or adoption? Do you need her help to decide? Once you know what you need from her, you can tell her at a time when you both are ready — ready as you can be, anyway. If you go to her knowing what you need, you’ll appear more adult like, and that will be the key element to avoiding a purely negative response.
Here’s a suggested way to say it:
“Mom, what I’m about to tell you will have some serious emotional and financial implications. I know that it is releasing a burden on you and I’m really sorry for whatever comes out of it. I really need your help and support and love because I’m scared and I can’t go through this without you. I just found out from [insert way you found out (e.g.) pregnancy test, Doctor’s name)] that I am pregnant. What I want is [insert what you want here].”
Even if your mom knew you are having sex, she’ll probably express disappointment or frustration. I don’t know your mom as well as you do, but typically, adults can express their reactions in the form of anger, numbness, calmness, panic, frenzy, sarcasm, taking charge, talking through their feelings, crying… Think about the last time you had to tell her something that could have potentially upset her. What did she do?
Be sure to give your mom time to speak without jumping in. Listen to what she says and let her vent if she has to. Realize that this situation is more than just this conversation. In the coming months, you’ll probably have many different feelings and you’ll need her support. Some days you might be ready, and others you might feel totally unprepared. It helps if you can talk to your mom about your emtions, especially since she’s been through it before.
And I’ll leave you with this: Even though you may feel really overwhelmed right now, sometimes — in fact, many times — a difficult situation brings people closer together.
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