I need some advice on how to talk dirty with my boyfriend. He does it to me and it really turns me on and he would like me to do it back but I don’t know what to say. Thanks!
Dirty talk can be fun and sexy, and is one of the easiest ways to explore kinks — each others unspoken (and safe!) desires. I think it’s great that you and your boyfriend have found something that turns you on, and that you’re comfortable enough to start doing the talking yourself. There’s no magic formula of what to say in bed, but there are a few different types of phrases you can try.
The easiest way to get inspiration for what to say is just by narrating what’s going on. Tell him what you like about him, his body, and his actions. Ask him what he wants from you and get vocal about what you want from him. Talk about how you picture it all going down. It’s not too different from what might occur in a phone sex conversation.
When using dirty talk in bed, don’t be afraid to try out different slang words for body parts. There is no “right” or “wrong” in sex, just what you enjoy, what makes you feel comfortable, and what turns you on. Some gURLs may like using technical terms like vagina and penis. Others may prefer saying slang words like pussy or dick. Then there are couples who get turned on using more “vulgar” words like cock and cunt.
You’ll only ever figure out your own comfort zone by testing it out. The beauty of having a partner you trust and feel relaxed with is that if either of you say something that accidentally offends or just plain turns off the other person, a simple “Eh, I don’t like that, don’t use that word,” is all it’ll take. There may be a moment of awkwardness… it pretty much comes with the territory. But there’s nothing against laughing during intimacy, either.
Just have fun. You’re probably going to feel silly, but that’s all part of the experience. And remember to leave the name-calling for when the two of you are exclusively together in private during sexy time. Dirty talk is about exploring sexuality and has nothing to do with disrespect. If you find that you like doing the listening but really don’t enjoying the talking, that’s okay, too.
What about you, gURLs? Have any advice for talking dirty in bed? Any personal favorite phrases? Share below!
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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