I Need To Stop Sexting With My Fling — I Have A Boyfriend — But Can’t!

Dear Heather,
So my best guy friend and I are major sexters to each other, but i really wanna stop. But there is this… I don’t know what it is…But something is holding me back. Like we do it every other day! I have a boyfriend and he got really jealous and told me he wanted me to be his and that we should be together forever! How do I stop sexting?

It’s really hard to be between two boys, but in this case, you are obligated to one — your boyfriend. While sexting with this other boy has its thrills, you have to decide if it’s something worth losing your boyfriend for. Your bf has made it pretty clear that he doesn’t feel comfortable with the sexting and that it hurts his feelings.

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If you want to maintain your relationship, you have to stop texting this dude back. I know deleting his number won’t do anything, but consider asking your cell phone company to put a block on the number. And, why don’t you start sexting your bf? Transition those feelings to him!

If, though, what you really want is attention from a lot of dudes, I think you better do that single, so you don’t hurt your boyfriend’s feelings anymore.

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Do any gURLs out there have advice of their own? I’d love to hear what you think.

take care,

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

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Posted in: Cheating, Dating, Help Me Heather, Love Advice, Love&Sex, Sex, Sex
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  • laura

    Im the same, I have the same problem its hard just to stop.I love my boyfriend loads but hate how I am x

  • Salena

    just sext your boyfriend. I am very sexually open but only really with my boyfriend. I sometimes still have cybersex with strangers, and I have showed my tits, got naked and fingered myself twice for a guy on webcam with a stranger in another country (yes my boyfriend knows and approves of this). I don't do that stuff as much anymore because I have and want my boyfriend. I have sexted, cybersex, and sent many dirty pictures to my boyfriend. (im 18, he is my first boy, we have sex) I'm a quiet loner so people in school don't even know who I am I wouldnt have a reputation to be ruined. I even know my boyfriend has shown some of my sexts and even my naked pictures to some of his friends. thats fine with me 🙂

  • Charlotte

    i meant girls below.. lol. i thought my comment was going to be below theirs.

  • Charlotte

    agreed with the above gURLs. However, not all guys are deceiving and will use sexting pics against a girl. Its important to have trust in a relationship and know what kind of person you are with. Trust is very important in a relationship and if you don't trust your bf enough to send him a sext pic then maybe you should reconsider your relationship. you dont need to sext with him if you dont want to or if you are not sure about it. But this gURL was doing it with someone that was not her bf, someone that may be a good person but is causing an uncomfortable situation. sexting with your bf is probably much safer than sexting with a friend…I think that was what Heather meant to say.

  • I like Heather's concept of her advice, but to be honest, she shouldn't have said to start sexting a boyfriend. The relationship could end due to awkwardness, weirdness, and uncomfortable situations. Then he could use that to blackmail her, like making her do dirty work in threats of sending the messages to tons of people! My advice? Do everything Heather says except sext him. He seems nice, and your other friend seems a little weird with the sexting situation, but don't sext anymore. It's a bad idea. T.V shows all the time sexting is no good and it will just make things worse (Ali from Degrassi, for instance). Good luck!

  • readerhi1234

    "And, why don’t you start sexting your bf?"

    Ummm… I don't recommend sexting with anyone. People besides your BF could see them, and if your BF ever wanted revenge… let's just say that won't be fun.