Can I Cheat On My Boyfriend If I Know He Won’t Find Out? Help! Help! Help!

dear heather, i am 16 and my bf drake, is 18. we have been together for 3 months, about a month ago i met his older cousin cody. he is 21. drake gave me his number to ask him something simple but about a week later cody started txting me and being really flirty.Cody did this to drake before with his ex. and the bad thing is that i’m falling for cody. he has asked me if my mom was home and if he could come over, he asked me for pictures and i have sent them to him… i dont know what to do, i really like drake but i kinda just want to have a little fling or do stuff with cody. i asked cody how do i know you wont tell drake and he said he doesnt kiss and tell… please please please help me!!

I’m assuming you and Drake have an exclusive relationship, and if that’s the case, then I think it’s time that you think about your relationship. Are you in love with Drake? If you are, then why would you want to run the risk of hurting his feelings by cheating on him? What is Cody giving you that Drake isn’t? If it’s something that can be worked on in your relationship (e.g. excitement, fun dates, spontaneity, romance, etc.) acknowledge that and talk to Drake about it. If it’s not and there’s something about Drake you think is totally not worth working on, then it might be time to call things off.

|There’s an upside to every break up. Peek how these celebrities have seen the silver lining in the darkness of their dead romances.|

If you don’t want to dump Drake, and you do love him, then it’s time to stop talking to Cody. The first thing you have to do though it to tell him that you are uninterested in talking to him and ask him to be more respectful of your relationship with his cousin. It seems to me Cody is just looking for a hook-up and at 21, I think it’s pretty irresponsible to willingly break the law by hooking up with you (that’s statutory rape). And let’s stop for a second and think about the kind of guy who goes behind his family member’s back to get a gurl — is that the kind of guy you can trust? Especially with a secret like this?

|Cody’s intentions seem really bad.  Do you think he belongs on this list of dudes who are boobs?|

But if you do decide to dump Drake to hook up with Cody, my gut tells me Cody is just a rebound and not someone you can ever rely on for the things you would expect in a relationship. I may be wrong, there is always a margin of error, but I do wonder just how great a boyfriend he would be to you if he’s totally cool with lying, stealing and cheating. Especially since this is repeat behavior on Cody’s part, it seems more like you are a pawn in Cody’s plan to hurt Drake. But again, I could be wrong.

Good luck!

take care,

Do you agree with Heather’s advice?

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at

more ways to get gURLy:

Posted in: Cheating, Dating, Help Me Heather, Love Advice, Love&Sex
Tags: , , ,
  • CutaayyLovableess :)

    1.)First of all neither of those relationships are rightt agee wise!
    2.) You’re a dumbass because they are related of course he’ll find out!
    3.) If you do thate ur gonna be.. well how can i say this nicely? Wait I cant uoi’re going to b a freakingg slutty whoree! YOU ARE A S-L-O-R-E!!!

  • tish

    ok i think that this is all messed up , first off cody is 21 and your 16 thats a problem within its self,second you said that cody has done this before right so what makes you think that he is not going to do it again after you and third what comes around gose back around so what you do to him it will come back to you when you really do like some one im 19 and married so if it you think its worth it messing up your relationship by all means go ahead but i wouldnt do it

  • Dede

    seriously girl.. you have some explaining to do yourself. if you really like your boyfriend then working it out with him is key.. but if you want to be all slutty about it and make his cousin your “boy-toy” then by all means.. I’m warning you though…there is ALWAYS consequences with lying & cheating (REMEMBER THAT!!)

  • Strawberry

    Break up with him if you thinking about cheating. i rather have a guy dump me instead of laying down with another girl because he feels he needs a lil more excitement. If he cheating on his girlfriend with someone else, Oh well at least it wont be me.

    • Dede


  • Strawberry

    You shouldnt cheat because you’re just hurting you boyfriend. You wouldnt like if your boyfriend cheated on you on the downlow so you shouldnt do it etiher just because you can. You betraying you relationship if you do. NO Affence but if thinking about cheating on your boyfriend who most likely has trust in you, you wouldnt be a good girlfriend at all the you and cheating is something hoes do and you dont wanna be considered a “hoe” do you.

  • Ashley

    Your only young and sometimes we need to have fun, but cheating is wrong, people get hurt and even if you dont tell drake, he is likely to find out as he did last time. You said you were falling for cody, but to me he sounds like he just wants to have fun, what if you fall in love with him? You will be heart broken. To me i dont think it is a good idea but you posted it in Feb so lets hope you made the right choice.

  • Miamiboy

    If you do it u just a hoe

  • Kayla

    If you really do like / love your boyfriend and care about him a lot you should not have feelings for his cousin in the first place. I understand sometimes people have feelings and temptations for other people while they are in a relationship, but you can't let that take over you. You're in a relationship, think about it. Is hooking up with this guy really worth risking everything that you and your boyfriend have together? Just so you can ease the sexual tension with this one person? It's not worth it, girl. If you're thinking about doing something with him then just break up with your boyfriend. It will hurt him a lot less if you break up with him, then if you cheat on him with his cousin. You can't have your cake and eat it too in this situation, sweetie.

  • TalkativeAngel1

    GURL,seems like to me he is just using you to hurt Drake,if I was you,I would just stop talking to Cody,he obviously does not really love you and if he did this before.. I think he just wants to hurt Drake.Don't be stupid,if you love Drake stay with Drake,Cody just seems to be playing with you.

  • heather

    i wudint becuse you wona be a women dont you and you dont want trubole becuse if you do cheat on him he will find out sooner or latter no matter what it cud be friends or familly or a stranger that you dont know that can tell him