Henry’s back, answering your questions specifically for guys. And I’ve been getting a lot of them. You can always leave your questions in the comments, but now, you can also e-mail them to email@example.com and I’ll take a look at them there.
Today’s topic, from Jade: Dear Henry, I have a BFF that’s a guy and we flirt and stuff. We’re really good friends and the idea of being friends with benefits has come up in our conversations. I want to be BFFWB (ha!), but i don’t know how to really make it happen.
Wow, a girl[space]friend who you get to hook up with. Every warm-blooded guy’s fantasy, right? Well, yes*.
*Disclaimer: While it’s cool you and your friend want to enter the hookup zone, you have to realize that this will change your friendship…forever. After you guys become FWB, things will really never be the same as they were before, even if neither of you are interested in anything more than just hooking up.
Think about it…even if you hookup for the better part of years, eventually, some other gURL (or in your case, a guy) will come along and one of you will want to pursue a relationship with that person. And once that happens, you’ll know certain intimate things about your friend that only a friend with benefits can know. It’s not that your relationship has to necessarily end, but it will certainly feel different.
But on another note, one of you could eventually develop feelings for the other (and if you’re thinking about hooking up, those feelings are probably deep down there already…at least in one of you, if not both). Guys like the idea of a friend with benefits because we get the hooking up part without all the other crap that comes along with being in a relationship. Cool with that? Good, continue on.
Now, some rules on being friends with benefits:
1. DO be honest with your friend, always. And expect him to do the same. If there’s something weird about you guys hooking up, tell him. If you’re not into it anymore, tell him. You don’t owe him anything in that department…but neither does he.
2. DON’T get jealous. If you see/hear your hookup partner is with another gURL, you can’t pull the whole girlfriend card, cause you’re not his girlfriend.
3. SET SOME GROUND RULES. Ask him if it’s okay if you hookup with other guys. But don’t get offended when he wants to do the same with other gURLS.
So really, being friends with benefits is about knowing if you’re ready for your relationship to change with that person. Because whether things get sorta awkward or totally awkward or go totally romantic down the road, the truth of the matter is, it will change.
So, what questions do you have for a guy like me? Comment below or send them along to firstname.lastname@example.org.