my best friend won’t let me date her brother, but i have a major crush!

hi heather,
I have a crush on my best friend’s brother. We’ve flirted with each other for a long time, and I’ve started to like him. Then one night we actually shared a small kiss when my best friend brought me on vacation with her family. She saw it. She’s asked me not to date him. I feel very lucky that we’re still best friends, but I still have feelings for her brother and there’s a possibility that he likes me too. Although I really don’t want to ruin our friendship and her brother is known to be a player. Her brother and I are still flirting with each other, but I don’t know what to do now. Please help!

While it’s a bummer that your best friend is sort of making you choose between her and her bro, I’m hoping there’s a good reason. I’m hoping it’s not because she’s jealous because she wants your time, but because she’s protecting you from his “player” behavior.

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I think it’s OK to ask what her specific complaints are with the relationship, if it were to happen. Having an open and frank talk about what she’s feeling could be really helpful for you and your relationship! And it could uncover the good reason she has for not wanting you two to hook up.

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What you do with your friendship is entirely up to you, but I think there really shouldn’t be a choice in the matter. If you and her brother do have feelings for each other, take things slowly, and are respectful to her, then she shouldn’t want to stop you two from taking the next step. But if your intentions are otherwise, maybe she feels protective and threatened. If that’s the case, then you shouldn’t pursue the hook up.

take care,

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Posted in: Dating, Friends, Help Me Heather, Love Advice
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  • hannah

    i hear where your coming from. i actually like flirting with my brothers friends and he's 19. i think you should ask her if it's alright if you and him can just be friends and work your way up slowly so she wont feel that akward. like the others said maybee she is being a really good friend and is just protecting you from him and his player status.

    good luck:)

    • gianna hicks

      i flert with my brothers friends too everyone of theme have a cute look to them

  • XShazdarling


    yeah i can see where your comming from.

    You can tell that she probably feels like if/when you did get together.. she might feel a little left out.

    she also might find it akward because its her brother. but on the other hand she doesnt want you hurt because hes player.

    Try talking to eher.

    &tell her how much you like him and explain you know its difficult.

    and akward.

    Also maybe try talking to him and say what you know about him and why it might be difficult and try talking to them together. and try work something out? 🙂

  • Sarah

    Situations like this stink, don't they? You're probably confused. I know that if the guy I liked kissed me, then it would be a huge deal, like it was once. I fell for him, but we were dating already. Then he broke my heart, and I couldn't feel like moving any more. Follow Heather's advice, she's almost 99.9% right!