Ask a Guy: How Do I Know If a Guy is Gay?

uh, we betchya didn't see this one comin'!

Henry here, answering your questions only a guy can answer. Today’s question got me angry a little. We’ll get to that in a moment. Anyhow, lfdk;sajf; writes: how do i know if a guy is gay?

And here’s the part that made me sad, a user’s response from Miah Stone, who says:

-The guy wears tight clothes
-Always stares at other guys’ ‘private’ parts
-Clothes are a bit feminine
-Says things like ‘You go, girlfriend!’

Miah, my friend, this could not be further from the truth. Instead, this is a stereotype of gay men, and not how you can tell one for sure. In fact, Henry has a few pals who are gay guys and gals alike, and I can guarantee you that there’s no defining characteristic. Just how straight people come in different shapes, sizes, colors, personalities, religions, and well, everything else, gay guys and gURLs do too!

When you really think about it, being gay is just a preference, just how Henry prefers his pizza topped with ham, pineapple, and a side of hot sauce. You might like yours with pepperoni, but it doesn’t really define who we are.

So for every Glee-loving fashionista gay out there, remember that somewhere, there’s his parkour-jumping, football obsessed counterpart — which if you ask me, is the cool thing about living in a world where everyone’s different.

Now, to answer the real question: The only way to really know if a guy is gay or straight is to ask them. It can be a touchy subject, especially if a guy is in his teen years and still trying to figure it all out. So, my best advice is not to ask. Instead, make him know you’re comfortable with the person he is, because when he’s ready enough to admit it to himself, he’ll also be able to admit it to you.

So, what other guy questions can I help you with this week? Ask your Q here!

Questioning your own sexuality? Watch this!

This entry was posted in Ask A Guy, Help Me Heather, Help&Advice.
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  • Anonymous

    Me and two of my friends grope each other on of my friends even sits in my lap and he even pretended to ride me and by grope grab, slap , or put our hands on each others asses

  • Carver

    There’s this gorgeous professor I like.. He’s kind if eccentric in the way he talks but I don’t know if he is gay..

  • Juan

    Hey i have this problem with this guy im gay but he doesnt know but has an idea that i might be.He’s very sweet with me and all we talk alot make jokes and all we even have our onwe handshake and he even trys to twist my nipples for fun everytime we talk. I met him in 10th grade and since then i havent seen him with a girlfirend.Recently i went to a party and when he saw me he hugged me for 3 mins i pretended like i didnt like the hug.Through the party he started to put his arm arround my shoulder alot.We took alot of photos and he even made one of the photos his profile picture on facebook.I like him alot but im scared to show him my feelings to him bc he might not like it.Please help.

    • Pierce

      Juan, the last thing you should do is pretend you don’t like him. If he recives negative signals from you then that will only discourage him if he does like you. Additionally relaying signals towards him could give you a clearer view on whether he likes you back depending on his reaction. A good thing about this is you don’t have to specifically ‘be gay’ if you understand what I mean. You can relay signals and still elude to the fact that you’re gay. This can help you understand his feelings towards you without actually telling him you’re feelings. However you may have to face the harsh fact that he may not like you but on the flip side if you do convince yourself he likes you, then you have decide how you go about telling him- which you will have to do. The most important thing for you to remember is to NEVER be afraid of your own emotions because if you hold back you could be denying yourself what could’ve been something. After all, it’s better to have tried and failed rather than not tried and have one certain ending- Regret.
      Hope this helped- PJ