i asked out my crush and he said “yes”… as a joke

joke's on him. he missed out on a cool chick!

dear heather,

I asked out this guy at school who I’ve liked for AGES. When I did, he said yes. I was siked. Then, out of the blue, all his friends started saying, “He said ‘yes’ as a joke”. I asked him myself and he told me he did! I felt terrible. How will I ever get over this?!

First of all, good for you for asking out the guy you liked! Not many gURLs would do that, so I applaud you for being so bold and making the first move with your crush. But I’m sorry to hear that things didn’t work out the way you’d anticipated them to.

Why was this guy being such a jerk? I can’t tell you. For some reason, guys sometimes think it’s funny to play with gURLs’ emotions, and unfortunately that’s something that they really won’t outgrow until they get older and more mature. Guys in middle school and high school can be real pests sometimes, can’t they?

|Think you’ll never get over it? Trust these gURLs — you will.|

But, you can’t let this get you down. What was a joke to this guy and his friends was just that — a joke. He was probably trying to look cool to his friends and figured that being obnoxious was the best way to do that. He most likely didn’t even factor your feelings into the equation at all and was just thinking about himself when he played you.

The truth is, this guy is probably so immature that if any gURL had asked him out he would’ve said “yes” as a joke to them too. You shouldn’t perceive it as a personal attack or him not liking you, because it’s obvious to me that this guy isn’t ready for a date with anyone.

|Not all gURLs are lucky in love. These have trouble finding boyfriends, too!|

As for how you can get over it? Promise me when I tell you that you will. It’ll probably take time, and it may take a few guys who do like you to realize that one not liking you doesn’t matter. But until that happens, just be proud of yourself for making the first move, and realize that this loser so isn’t worth your time anyway.

take care,


What’s bothering you? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

more ways to get gURLy:

Posted in: Dating, Help Me Heather, Love Advice
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  • Lexi

    I asked my crush out and he said,” I like you too but I like someone else the same way as I like you. I’ll think about it.” After that he just kept saying,” I don’t know yet I’m sorry…” Every time I see him. His name is Justin. He likes my friend Ashley too. And it’s been 3 days. He just won’t give an direct answer.

  • Mary

    This sorta happened to me but he was the one who asked me out and when i said i wanted to not be so serious he said it was a joke… trust me youll get over it i have an AMAZING guy now who isnt immature like most dudes his age:D just do what Breanna did and keep you head held high

  • Amy

    You know what? I don't have the guts to ask guys out for this reason so good for you. Obviously you don't need him and can do better if he is so immature.

  • Breanna

    Girl this has happened to me before as well. I can tell you this it was definatly just to please his friends. When this happened to me I was devistated it made me feel horrible, but I kept my head held high and acted like I could care less about him. In the future he ended up liking me! 🙂 and I did play the revenge card and got him back, after i did that he apoligized for it. So keep your head held high, what goes around comes around :).