the thought of sex absolutely repulses me!

on the bright side, at least sex will always be easier for you than it is for Bella!

dear heather,
I am 14 years old, almost 15, and the thought of sex repulses me. I’m not saying that I should be totally eager to have sex, but I can’t even look at a picture of a penis without wanting to throw up. I know I’m not a lesbian, because I find men attractive, but when I even think about more than making out with them, I want to scream in disgust. I really don’t know why, but I’m just seriously grossed out by sex. Is this normal? I am more mature than my friends in most subjects except for this!

Sex is a personal choice so don’t feel discouraged or different just because you’re not interested in it yet. Your friends may be more open to the idea, but it’s completely fine if you aren’t. Just remember that people mature faster than others in different ways. You might look older or act more sophisticated, but it’s perfectly fine to not even want to think about sex. Don’t worry, you’re still normal even if you are disgusted by it right now.

It’s also important not to give in to peer pressure. Just because your friends are eager to have sex doesn’t mean you have to. It’s not a race. Sex might appeal to you more as you get older or when you find someone you really care about, but don’t beat yourself up because you’re not interested in it at the same time as your friends. It’s great to have different values and you should stand behind them.

|Not ready for sex yet? You’re not alone! See how other gURLs like you are feeling.|

I bet it’s hard to hear all your friends talking about sex if you have no interest in it, but try to remember that they’re just curious. You should tell them how you feel so they know you aren’t annoyed at them and it’s just your personal belief.

Chances are sex will get brought up a lot as you age, but it’s alright to not be interested now. Your feelings will change over time.

take care,


more ways to get gURLy:

Posted in: Being Different, Help Me Heather, Love Advice, Sex, Sex
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  • Anna

    I’m 19 and have never had any interest in any sort of sexual interaction, I find the entire idea very repulsive even though I think I know quite a bit about it (not from experience). One thing I have encountered is a lack of understanding from others, my family and friends expect me to have a boyfriend or something but I have very poor social skills anyway so I don’t think they are that surprised. Do not be ashamed and do not feel pressured, you are not alone and there is nothing wrong with you. As others said your feelings may change, I am proud to be asexual. 🙂

  • This is a stupid thing to say, but I'm the exact same way. Except I'm 12 and almost 13, my parents say the word 'Sex' and i start gagging!

  • Alex

    This is perfectly normal,I am the same way hugging and kissing is ok but Once someone begins to talk about sex I freak out I hate it and I feel like thats all my body is for and it makes me mad.I don't want to hve sex it grosses me out too and I don't like to see kids in my school making out.I feel likemen use our bodys just for that so I feel thst I am of both genders I can be a girl witha boys mind and respect the fact that not all woman use there bodys for sex.

    • Courtney

      If you think all men just use women for sex, you need to meet some better men. Truth is, many guys (and many girls) enoy sex. However, myth #1, all guys are the same. Myth #2, all men think about is sex, food, and sleep. I think a lot of the time, guys pretend to be "players" to their friends because it's "cooler" than the truth, men don't think of sex any more than women. (Granted, some guys are just too horny for their own good, but so are a lot of women.)

  • AC

    And if your feelings don't change you could be asexual. Look it up – there is a whole community.