what we wish we knew when we lost it

the cast of mtv's skins: these kids just look like trouble!

MTV’s new show Skins is premiering Monday, January 17, and not gonna lie, we’re pretty freakin’ excited. Personally, we couldn’t get enough of the U.K. version, about a group of teens who are rebelling against their parents, experimenting, and finding themselves in the world.

And just like the original, the adapted MTV version talks a lot about something you’re already doing or thinking about doing: Having sex. Sure, we could beat around the bush and pretend gURLs weren’t losing their virginities as young as 13, but we’ll leave that up to your parents instead.

|VIDEO: The MTV Skins cast counts down the ten things they never want their parents to find out!|

For those of you who are losing your v-cards at such a young age, there’s a lot of confusion that comes along with it. That’s why we asked gURL readers like you to share their experiences in the Shout Out Boards.

And voila — we’ve compiled your answers into a list of things we wish we knew before we did it:

We wish we knew that it doesn’t matter if your friends around you are having sex, only you know when the time is right.

We wish we knew never ever to put ourselves at risk by doing it without a condom. We got lucky, but some gURLs didn’t and had to deal with the consequences of unwanted pregnancy or STDs.

We wish we knew a little bit more about man parts. Knowing what your guy is feeling is just as important as him knowing what you’re feeling!

|How well do you know a guy’s junk? Take the quiz and find out!|

We wish we knew that being in doubt means don’t do it. If there’s any small part in you that is doubting having sex, listen to it.

We wish we knew sex is not as glamorous as it looks on TV.

We wish we knew that the emotional after-effects of having sex sometimes last longer than having sex itself.

We wish we knew that guys can’t really tell if you’re a virgin or not.

We wish we knew how uncomfortable sex could be for the first time. And how much blood can be involved when a gURL’s hymen breaks during sex.

So, do you have anything to add to our list? Sound off in the comments!


more ways to get gURLy:

Posted in: Advice Gurl, Discuss, Down There, Health, Sex & Relationships, Hooking Up, STDs & STIs, Virginity
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  • Carmen

    Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year now, we havnt gone too far. hj and fingering. But Sex has definetly come across our minds. I’m only 14 but I’m 100% sure I wouldnt regret losing my virginity to him. Just I’m scared because none of my friends have done it. And I’m not about to ask my parents about it! It’s just I’ve looked it up online. For countless nights. about the bleeding and the pain. It sounds
    horrible! But how can I make it easier to face? I finger myself but I’m scared that wont be enough! and what if he uses a condom that has expired or puts it on wrong?! I’m not on the pill! I want this. But i dont want the pain or the doubts of getting pregnant! HELP!

  • Gadfire

    Hey, I’m a boy and I searched how girls feel when they losed their virginity..I’m 17 and I never did to any girls before..and when I read this post I’m deeply realised it is a bad thing..Yes, it is true that some boys make relationship with girls just to have sex with them and leave them when it is done..


    I’m shocked to hear that many of you lose virgin at the age of 14-15.

  • It’s me

    I didn’t bleed my first time, and that night when i came home i saw a little spot of blood on my underwear, so i bled just a little bit after.

  • Shanti

    It was my 12th birthday. My friend’s aunty told me she’ll through a party for my birthday. My parents were at my hometown so I was staying at my friend’s house. That so called aunty took me for marketing and took me to an old man’s house. He was of 60years or so. He was bald and very dark. Aunty and he started drinking inside his bedroom. I was watching TV. It was already getting dark. So I asked aunty to lease the place as we have to order cake and invite my friends. Both of them got too drunk to stand. Then aunty told me, who do you think is going to spend money for your party? This man is give you money for all your need, only thing you have to do what he says! I shouted No.. How can you ditch me like that? She help him to forcefully take off my cloths. I cried and tried to stop them, but my strength was not enough. They took off all my cloths and the old man got naked. I shouted and tried to kick them. But that aunty hold me tight from the bed and the old man stood between my legs and put his thing forcefully inside me. I got fainted and when I got back my sense, aunty was still holding me and the oldman was still raping me. I got fainted once again. Next time I got my sense back, I heard aunty telling- ‘You fucking old pig, still you have the same strength to carry on for so long? Finnish it soon, otherwise the child will die!’ Then the oldman said-‘ I won’t let her die, you keep her whole night. I’ll pay you double what I promised!’ Then he started breathing heavily and growled like a wild pig and rest over me. After that I don’t remember anyting. I regained my sense and realised both of them were cleaning my private part with got water. I thought I’ll die with pain. I forgot when I stopped crying. I was still bleeding and aunty was trying to wipe all. That old pig has bitten all over my body- my lips, neck, my underdeveloped breasts, stomac, hips, thighs and even in my vagina. My voice got sore, so I could only pull that aunty towards the door to escape. She was telling me to wear cloth and rest for a while and was counting money given by him. I could not stand or walk. So aunty took a taxi reach her home. I never knew how much she had taken from that old man but gave me a chocolate and told me not to tell anyone. After reaching home I slept and woke up only next evening. It took me more than a month to fully recover. I was so afraid to tell anyone and didn’t talk to anyone for whole month. Then aunty came to my house to fetch me once more while my parents were away. She told me that she used to earn money that way and he was one of her customer. She also told me that he didn’t pay much money as I didn’t obey him! On that day only I’ve learnt that She was a prostitute and now she is too old to earn by herself. She never paid me a single pie except that chocolate. I think I shall never be able to enjoy sex after I got raped by an old man who’s even body hair turned grey!

    • serenity

      WHAT THE HELL! this made me freaking cry! Thats horrible!

  • Logan

    Im 14. Me and my boyfriend are in love and last night i stole a condom from my older sister and went to his house.. i know im ready and he knows too or else he wouldnt do anything. He isnt pressuring me at all..
    When it came time, he tried to put it in. It went in and the worst pain in my life went through me. What did i do? I HIT him!!!!!! I wasnt thinking! all i knew was that i was gonna cry if he kept going. I knew i chose right because he stopped immediately and turned on the light and cuddled with me and told me he loved me and that everything is gonna be okay. I couldnt hold back the tears, not because of the pain anymore but because i just want to get it over with without all the horrible pain…..
    Ive done my research on the computer. It says you may feel discomfort and it will bleed.. but nothing ever said that i would feel like i was being ripped apart from the inside.
    Im thinking i felt so much pain because i was tense and expecting it… i just dont know how to relax. Im so scared….
    I just wanna keep crying because being a girl sucks))); we go through wayyy too much.

  • Tara

    So me and this guy have been dating for a year and we keep trying to take it to the next level but I get scared at the last minute because Im a virgin. I’m scare because he’s so big and I think it’ll hurt worse if the guy is bigger. What should I do?

  • Sabrina

    Im 13 and thinking about having sex with my boyfriend… we really love each other and were best friends before we started dating so i know i can trust him and he talks to me about everything. Im a little scared of how I’ll feel after like emotinally and i only feel sure i want to do it when were in the moment but i told him i wanted to try and i dont really want to back out now because i dont want to disappoint him but i do feel kinda guilty becuase im so young and im not sure if we should or just stick to what were doing now until were older

    • Kristy

      think about what your going to do first. Yes you both love each other but just to warn you it will hurt. If your sure he is the right one and you don’t have any doubts then go for it but the best thing that you can do is wait a little longer. If there is a even a tiny little bit of doubt then dont go through with it because you might just regret doing it afterwards or later on. In my opinion you should wait because you are still young and your going to look back at your past when your older

    • kaitlin

      What’s his name?

  • Katherine

    At 15 my virginity didn't seem like that big of a deal to me any longer and I was just ready to lose it. I never thought I'd live up to an abstinent life until I was married but I did know I wanted to wait until I found someone that I really liked and enjoyed as a person. A boy came along and I crushed on him for six months before he showed me the time of day and we finally started dating. He never pressured me into sex and I never felt rushed but now at nearly 20 years old I wish I would've waited because at 15 years old you don't know what else is out there. You probably won't stay with that person you think is the one and in high school love, though still love, is at a totally different level than it is once you graduate and begin to see a world outside of social confines. What I really wish I would've know at 15 is that in five years I was going to find the person I would truly love and want to be with for however long forever is and that I could give him something that no one else had ever had before that was mine.

  • Kayla

    I am still a virgin and my step-sis told me her first time was horrible, so i thought that it was that bad for EVERYONE.. But then my close friend who has been with her boyfriend for almost 3 years told me she did it with him over the weekend. She said that he wanted to talk about sex with her and that they did some research on the computer together , because he wanted her to have an orgasm their first time and to be as safe as possible without her getting the pill. By the time they had sex for the first time she said that it was uncomfortable at first but then she had an orgasm and it wasnt so bad. She told me that it was easier because they both new how the other's body works. She and her boyfriend are still together and they made me realize that when i lose my virginity I want it to be with a boy who tells me everything , is responsible, and wants to be with me even after we have sex . so in other words … I am sooo not ready yet!

    • Allison

      WAY good for you!

      • JasLake419

        I’m sooo gonna take some of these stories as examples, the ones about how I want to give the guy I truly love the one thing no other guy will have. Especially about finiding a boy who is responsible and wants to get to know me and truly be with me and not just try to get in my pants and dump the next week! You guys are kinda inspiration. I was actually thinking about getting a purity ring and I’m closer to 60% sure now. I’m glad I found this site and can relate to other gurls.

  • marika mccauley

    wish we knew how scary it is when a condom breaks.

    • Serah

      Or If he pourposly poked holes in them while you weren’t looking.

  • Sarah

    I'm still a virgin, but I get nervous when my friends tell me about how they had sex and how uncomfortable or scary it was. It makes me nervous. One time, a guy tried to have sex with me (he didn't force himself upon me) but with all my friend's stories–one pregnant, one has a pregnancy scare, and one had an STD scare–I rejected him and walked away. My friends told me I was smart, but now I'm afraid.

  • Girls should definitely read this post before they decide to lose their virginity. Teens need the advice.

  • Uzuri Uzi B

    I wish I knew my worth. I threw away my virginity to a guy I have no emotional connection for. There was no passion, just regret at how naive I was. I forgave myself for it, but that memory will not shake.

  • Xoe

    I wish I knew that being nervous will make it hurt more. Best to do it in a fit of (safe) passion 😛

  • Cailie

    I wish I had known that some guys will tell you absolutely anything–anything you want to hear–in order to get you to have sex with them.

  • Jessica

    I wish I knew that he was as nervous as I was. I wish I knew what he was feeling before we did it and i wish we had talked about it more before we actually went through with it.

  • Carly

    I can't top Emily.

  • Yesi

    to go use the restroom first, that way it wont be uncomfortable..

    • Xoe

      agreed 😛 make all the room you can

  • Wow …….

  • Emily

    The guy may not be what he seems. The guy I lost my virginity to doesn't even talk to me anymore even though before he seemed very sweet and caring, and most of my friends who have lost their virginities to their boyfriends, were heartbroken because the guy dumped them after having sex with them. Just don't do it until you've found someone worth losing your virginity too.