can i date other people while he’s still in prison?

dear heather,
i’ve been dating a guy on and off for about 4 years and he was recently sentenced to
three years in prison. Is it wrong to date other people and still date him or is it
ok since he won’t be around for a long time. I really love him and i’ll always be
here for him. help me heather!!!

On and off for four years, huh? Before I even read the rest of that sentence, I was already questioning the strength of your relationship.

That’s really sweet of you to want to be there for him but depending on the kind of crime he committed, he may not really be worth it for you (you could be risking your own safety, health, and law-abiding ways for him, and for what? Love? Not a good enough reason. At all.).

|Have you broken a law? Do you know what could happen if YOU get caught? Read up on the Fast Facts here.|

Without knowing what he did to make it into jail, it’s hard for me to help you decide if he’s someone you should keep in your life. But regardless of the crime he committed, I will strongly urge you to not date him anymore. Ever. It might be difficult to say or do, but I think you should end it with him. Love is not unconditional — love is something that happens when both parties involved have a mutual respect for each other and each others values.

take care,
heather

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Posted in: Dating, Help Me Heather, Love Advice
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5 Comments

  1. avatarJuliet says:

    My boyfriend got sentenced for 3 years and it has been a year since he has been in jail and i have dated a little bit but the thing is i never felt right or happy about it because of how much i love my boyfriend and so I decided on my own not to date. It was not making me happy it was making me more sad. If you find someone else while he is in there dont feel bad because he made the decisions that got him into the position you are BOTH in now, but if it meant to be then it will be. Follow your instincts and you will figure out whats right. If you decide to stay with him then enjoy this time you have being on your own. It gets easier I PROMISE
    my boyfriend made parole and gets out in 4 months. Its worth the wait TO ME but every situation is different. just remember you dont have to stay with him out of guilt. This is your life!

  2. avatarKiara says:

    I Honestly Feel Like You Should Go. You Deserve To Be Happy. If He Loves You He Wouldnt Have Done What He Did. He Wouldnt Have Left You Alone, To Suffer The Pain By Yourself. Im Not Saying Its All His Fault. Im Just Saying You Shoudl Be Able To Smile On A Daily Bases, Because You Know You Didnt Stay With The One Guy That Should Have Thought Of You;

  3. avatarChicklett says:

    i agree with heather, but i can somewut relate to you! I go to this campground and i meet this guy, we dated ON and OFF for 2 years. One day when I came home i found out that he been doing somestuff that he shoud not of. I cried for weeks but then i relized that maybe i shouldnt be dating him and it would be best if i blocked him on facebook and delate his fone number. He got sent to juvi and i felt broken hearted. After a month or so i got a new bf and we have been dating ever since. I guess wut im trying to say is I know it hurts and that u loved him (i rly loved the guy from my camp) but it will be best if u tryied to date other ppl.

    best luck :P

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