dear heather,
I go to a really small school where everybody knows everybody and we are encouraged to have relaxed relationships with our teachers. I’m pretty close with my English teacher and yesterday I got a Christmas card from her. I would just like to know, is there anything wrong with being close to teachers?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a close relationship with a teacher. Teachers are very involved in your life and sometimes things just click. I think there is always something a bit uncomfortable about a close friendship with a teacher since they are the ones in power and the ones being paid in the situation. But yes, this is a fine type of friendship to explore. But–and this is a very BIG but–a friendship with a teacher should be just that: a friendship. Sexual relationships between teachers and underage students are not only illegal but also totally unethical, given the amount of power a teacher has over a student. No matter how you may feel, a teacher’s age, experience and authority give that person an unhealthy advantage over you. If you keep some physical and emotional distance, a friendship will be less complicated and much more comfortable for everyone.

Exchanging Christmas cards, on the other hand, is probably just fine.

take care,
heather

The holidays can be a crazy time of mixed messages! What are you worried about? What’s troubling you? Let me help! Send your questions to heather@gurl.com.

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