i’m obsessed with a guy i met online! can i date him?

dear heather,
I met a guy online and I really like him. The only problem is he’s across the country. I know that meeting people online is dangerous but I feel like people don’t understand the connection I have made with him. Is it wrong for me to date a boy I met online?

I’m definitely an advocate for online dating. Many people are more comfortable meeting people online than in person, so online dating is a perfect way for them to do that. But cyber dating should be used solely for beginning a relationship, not maintaining one.

You say you have a connection with this guy, but let’s be honest — can you really establish a legit bond with someone you’ve never even met face to face? Probably not. What you’re mistaking for “liking” him is probably just you “liking” the attention he’s giving you in cyberspace.

|Find out what your crush’s Facebook page says about them!|

Also, it’s important to think about all the factors here. He lives very far away, so you can’t assume dating someone who lives across the country and who has never even met you will remain faithful to you. And besides, would you really want to remain faithful to him under those circumstances?

I’m not saying online dating never works out, because many times it does. But for the relationship with this particular guy to work, you need to meet him in person and see if sparks fly the same way when you’re physically together as they do when you’re cyber chatting. In the meantime, get off your computer and start meeting guys in person!

take care,
heather

The holidays can be a crazy time of mixed messages! What are you worried about? What’s troubling you? Let me help! Send your questions to heather@gurl.com.

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Posted in: Dating, Help Me Heather, Love Advice
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5 Comments

  1. avatarlady says:

    i can relate too! i have an online boyfriend for four months now and we just met a month ago. when we met , it was just wonderful ! the feeling is even more intense and i could feel spark everytime we hold each others hands. it was soooo romantic! i couldnt even stop myself from smiling even day after i met him <3

  2. avatarniceaj says:

    omg dude i totally know how you feel. i met a guy on facebook and his my friend and i think i’m in love with him and he lives across the world. he is an amazing guy. i know he is the person i think he is. but i don’t put pictures of myself on facebook so he doesn’t even know what i look like and i told him that his like a brother to me.

    • avatarAnonymous says:

      I can totally relate also! I met this guy online about 3 weeks ago. I live in Nevada and he lives in Ohio… We talk everyday over the phone or text about everything! From school to polotics to kids…. We send each other pix so in our case we know what the other looks like. Everything seems right. Were planning on meeting up in the next 2 months. I can only hope that we have the same chemistry in person cuz I think im falling for him…. and hes told me the same…. I know guys just say things just to say em, but I truely belive him.I think ive been through enough experiances to know when a guy is being real or not.

  3. avatarMusicLover says:

    I feel that this doesn't mention the possibility of the person not being who you think he is. If you do meet him, be very cautious!

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