help a gURL out: i’m tired of being a good gURL. i want to have sex!

Brittany and Santana make casual sex something to cheer for

dubistmeintraum has been a “good gURL” all her life. But now she’s ready to make a change…by having sex. The problem? She doesn’t exactly have a target in mind.

| but can’t you have sex without having sex? take our outercourse quiz now! |

She writes: i’m 17 and i’m usually a goody two shoes. i get really good grades and i never tried weed until this year etc. i’ve gotten to a point where i really wanna start having sex. for me i don’t see it as a big deal, a thing you need to save for marriage or someone who you’ll be with forever…just someone that you’re in like with at that moment. but all of the sudden i feel like i’m so ready and willing to lose it. it’s like i have all this pent up sexual frustration that’s wants to run free. i’ve never ever done anything with anyone i’ve dated past making out. is anyone else like this? i wanna throw myself at like every hot guy and i’m like super flirty lately

| maybe it’s just hormones? it’s just one guess, get the fast facts on hormones and see! |

i think part of it is that i’m suddenly more confident. but yes, discuss please 🙂 anyone can relate?

Have you ever decided to take sexual step forward without a partner in mind? Or do you think she should find another way to solve her sexual frustration? Let her know by commenting below!

-gURL

more ways to get gURLy:


Posted in: Advice Gurl, Health, Sex & Relationships
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  • ankit

    i am in delhi and i love girls for sex because nothing is amazing then girls in the world

  • # love Cannaday

    I can relate to you some of you girls becuase i am a straight A student and is very very very innoscent. Im so innoscent that i havent even had my fist kiss yet and im goin to the ninth grade. I guess you can say ima late bloomer. i believe that juss becuase you wanna have sex doesnt mean you have to do it, maybe your letting other peoples opinions about you and peer pressure influence you to do things you nessassarly dont want or need to do. i honestly ythink that you shuld wait until you reli have feeling for someone instead of goin off of your sexual desires because in reality we all shuld and will experience that feeling of lust and will proceed in having sex. So juss wait it out and remember that this dicission you make will you last you forever so think SMART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • giselle

    Right ON! i was just about to say sumthing smilier to what you wrote lol….n i am to a 17 good two shoes..stright A student..well..not really that much more since I have gotten wasted n try other "things" when I was about to turn 17 lol and it was only like 10 months ago i was like..ill wait til marrige i mean whats the rush now? I dont care if anyone esle is doing it….we r too young anyway…. but then my friend started having sex..n shes younger than me…so i started to feel like a loser cuz i havent even experince with the oppiste sex..cuz i never seem to have urge to..i didnt care of a having bf..i was more in my studies and staying drama free lol….like y do people have to make it seem like its sum right of passge to life..at ages 13 or 14 u should have ur first kiss..15 a steady bf..n 16 or 17 sex! like it didnt bother me at all..until i had urges to all of sudden! now i feel like just hooking up with sum radom guy n fuck him..so i can feel the" pleasure"…im more in the middle now..i want to but then at times i dont..i guess it is just hormons….but then i think..wont it seem like i vaule myself more if i stay a virgin til i am marry? and do it with sumone i love? JESUS! its like i want self repect..but then..i want to be a hore lol I dont know if this is helping you or not…but thats how i feel right now…n i guess there are others that feel the same.way….i guesss its up to you what you want to do with ur body..but u need to remenber the conquences right after 😉 like some of these are right wut they say…but im in the middle of an angel n a harlet lol

  • Charlotte xoxo

    I think, no offense to you, that you shoul have done it already are you taking it to slow?

  • Swindy

    I've actually had the EXACT same problem as you this year. I complain to my friends ALL the time and constantly think about having sex. At times I feel ready and at times I'm afraid. I had a tumultous relationship with a boy a half a year ago and I thought I wanted to share my virginity with him, but luckily for me I didnt. THe point is, if you have to ask then youre not ready. Sex is something that shouldnt be second guessed or youll regret it. And yea I agree people put too much emphasis on sex and it seems overated. But it actually has HUGE consequences where things happen in your brain, your mind, your body and your soul. And if you just want to frivolously hop someones bones then youll definitely regret it. A way I got over my urges was to write. I write ALL the time about anything AND i exercise. I know sounds cheesy but at least youll have stronger legs and polish your literature skills. Find your niche, then someone who you share a mutual care for, think about it and then maybe have sex. Patience (although painful) is ALWAYS of the essence.

  • emily

    I don't recommend losing it to just any hot dude who just happens to be DTF. However, that doesn't mean I think you need to wait to be in love either. I know how you feel, I was in the same situation at 16. I was just like, SUPER horny and it was really lame because I didn't have anyone special in my life and everyone makes losing your virginity into this huge deal. And it kind of is a big deal, because you only get to have your first time once, and for that reason alone, it's important to be with someone you trust and like a lot or love. I had sex for the first time when I was about 17 and a half. We didn't wait long, only two weeks of knowing each other. He was three years older. We were completely inseparable from the day we met. We ended up falling in love over more time and were together for 2 years and are still in contact. I felt comfortable around him, and was around him long enough to observe his behavior to be convinced that he wasn't just hanging around me to get laid. He was respectful, inquisitive, smitten and genuinely liked me, and I felt the same way about him. The first time we had sex was not mind-blowing, even though he had WAY more experience than me, at 20 he still had a lot to learn. I did not orgasm. But it was still fun. I did not feel pressured at all, I was the one who initiated it. I regret nothing about it.

    All that said, all I mean is that you should at least get to know the guy and make sure you like him and that he won't treat you poorly after it happens. Since breaking up with the guy I lost my virginity to, I have had my share of random hookups/one night stand type of situations, and none of them made me feel good when it was over, even if the sex was good. Even if I went into it not having expectations of a potential boyfriend and not thinking that I was very into them, sometimes the next day I would find myself getting sad if the dude didn't call. You can never tell when you'll have feelings for someone after you hookup with them. It wasn't 100% of the time that I ended up feeling rejected, sometimes I was super cool with just having one night with someone and not seeing them again, but it's not worth the risk, trust me, especially in regards to it being your first time.

    You will remember your first time for the rest of your life, and that means you will remember the guy for the rest of your life. I'm not saying you need to be in love. I'm not saying he needs to be your boyfriend. But you should make sure that on some level you care for each other, because there is a chance that you will feel emotionally attached after sharing such a precious level of intimacy with someone, and he better treat you respectfully after you share something so special with him. You are a treasure! He can be hot, but he should also be a gentleman.

  • adilah

    i get the confident and certain parts i wish not to discuss. but can you do this for a moment, imagine if your little sister or daughter asked you this same question, what would you tell her?

  • Meredith

    So what about what other people think? Its you. You will have to live with the rest of your life. Just because you make good grades doesn't mean your a good person. I believe that in order to control your sexual desires is to have SELF CONTROL. Yeah, waiting for the one is good because he will know that you have only be with one person. And, just because you don't regret your decisions now doesn't mean your not going to regret it when your 90. The person you have sex with the first time, mostly likely not have the same feelings for you as you do with them. I say just wait. Even though everything happens for a reason, I still say wait. Please wait.

  • Honestly the year I turned 17 was the year I did the dumbest things ever. I lost my virginity to a guy I liked but he didn't like me back. I still went and had sex with him several times after the first time, knowing how he felt about me. I got involved with pot and alcohol. I crave Four Lokos and I haven't drunk one in months, but it really is an addiction. At least I don't feel addicted to the weed or cigarettes. I don't miss the sex either. I'm not saying I regret it, because I don't, I am glad I got everything out of my system and did it all. Now that I've been 18 for a while, I've had time to think and I will never lose control of myself again. But I do believe it had to happen for experience.