what should i do? my boyfriend calls me flat behind my back to my bff!

Dear Heather,
My boyfriend told my best friend that im kind of flat. Which I am and im not going
to lie.. I don’t want to be a size C thats to big for me.. And he makes fun of me to
my best friend about that and she agrees with him.. She tells me every thing what
they talk about and what he says about me.. And I think it’s sorta hurt full.

Wow, gURL, that is hurtful! I’m really proud of you for being proud of your body. No matter what size your boobs are, big or little, what’s most important is that you feel good about yourself. It sucks that in this case, it’s not bad body image that’s bringing you down, it’s a bad boyfriend and bff. Teasing you affectionately is one thing, but talking about you behind your back is mean-spirited, and not what someone who loves you does– and that goes for both your boyfriend and best friend.

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Let’s start on your best friend. Why is she talking to him? What are her motives? Did you ask her to talk to him? Because honestly, it’s entirely inappropriate for her to be talking to him about your relationship, your boobs, and how he feels about you. It just is. So it makes me wonder, is she jealous of your relationship? Are her intentions good? Is she as good of a friend as you thought? If she’s mean enough to agree with him about your boob size, then is she mean enough to sabotage you? The thing is, I’m basing my advice on what to do with your boyfriend on the fact that you 100% trust your friend and that she’s telling the truth. Sometimes, “friends” have ulterior motives that are not in your best interest. If she has a crush on him, for instance, she could be stretching the truth or making it up entirely.

So, there’s only one way to find out how to stand up for yourself and make them respect you as well. All three of you need to talk. Together. At once. In a room. Don’t do it on conference call. Don’t do it on Skype. You need to see both of their reactions when you say “Boyfriend, Best Friend told me that you don’t think my flat chest is attractive. I think that I deserve to be with someone who loves me for who I am and I feel hurt that either of you would say that about me behind my back.” Memorize that. Say that. See what their reactions are. If your BFF’s intentions were good, you should make it clear that she shouldn’t meddle in this or any future relationship again.

| How do your boobs grow, anyway? Click here to find out! |

And here’s what I’ll leave you with: a lot of dudes think little boobs are hot. Some prefer them! If this dude doesn’t, tell him to date someone else because you’re not going to waste your time on a guy who doesn’t respect your boobs or your relationship.

take care,
heather

send in your questions for heather to heather@gurl.com. have you ever been teased for being flat chested? how’d you deal? what’d you say? tell us below.

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This entry was posted in Dating, Friends, Help Me Heather, Love Advice.
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  • Giaa

    Girl it’s fine I got called flat and tbh idc cuz you might get a hot guy on the football team
    It don’t matter your perfect

  • TalkativeAngel1

    A true friend wouldn’t make fun of you like that and especially with your boy friend.

    If your boy friend really truly loved you he wouldn’t make fun of you,cause someone who loves you for real cares about you and loves everything about you even the imperfections.Just remember,NO BODY IS PERFECT NO ONE.And you need a new best friend and a better boy friend,you deserve better than this.

  • Lee

    A true friend wouldn't make fun of you like that and especially with your boy friend.

    If your boy friend really truly loved you he wouldn't make fun of you,cause someone who loves you for real cares about you and loves everything about you even the imperfections.Just remember,NO BODY IS PERFECT NO ONE.And you need a new best friend and a better boy friend,you deserve better than this.

  • Janet

    So your "best friend" and your boyfriend are talking about your "imperfections" behind your back? It sounds to me like you're in dire need of some new company (Which can be easier said than done – I know).

    So what if you have smaller breasts? Most of the cute clothes that they make nowadays are designed for gals with a smaller size – and I also know of a lot of guys that actually prefer "flat".

    Don't let the jerks get you down. They have their own personal problems that they haven't had to courage to address yet. They just want to drag you down to build themselves up.

    Keep your head up (and get rid of those two).

  • dymond

    ive had that befor but he called mi fat jus ask him if he really really liks u and if he says no then jus break up with him dnt listen to wat they say ok feel confident about urself itz ok wat they say but do u think the same way dont let them get to u

  • leslie

    I have been through that but not because my breast are small but because they are big. Don't let them get you down. Tell them to kiss you flat chest and hit the road

  • JennyBGood

    DUMP HIM! AND HER!