It’s totally normal that hearing your roommate and her boyfriend going at it makes some serious feelings arise. It’s pretty inconsiderate on her part, no matter what stage her relationship is in. You shouldn’t have to put earplugs on every time he comes over, so definitely mention it to her. She doesn’t have to listen to you, of course, but there’s a good chance she’ll be a little more careful in the future.
If nothing changes, and you still hear the bed banging just as loud, keep your headphones on hand and pretend like it’s tuning out anything else. Some girls have roommates who talk on the phone all night, other girls have roommates who blare the TV around the clock –for these situations and yours, sound-canceling earphones are your friend.
As for the second part of your question, a relationship is between two people and it really isn’t for anyone else to judge. You don’t know how they act when you aren’t in the room. As crazy as it may sound, some people show their love with sex. Some people have sex without even knowing what love is. Sometimes it’s easier to show love through physical ways instead of emotional ways. It’s really impossible to know what goes on when they’re alone. The best you can do is observe and learn from your roommate’s relationship, and decide what kind of boyfriend you might want in the future.
Unless you and your roommate are best friends (and even if you are…), criticizing her relationship can really sour a living situation (or ruin a friendship).
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