advice gURL: do you need friends?

only the lonely know how she feels

greenbeans23 has an interesting problem. Her mom thinks she needs more friends, but she doesn’t agree. She wrote on the Shout Out Boards:

my entire childhood i had a lot of friends and was really outgoing and spunky and in-your-face. but even though i had a lot of friends i never felt like i really fit in anywhere, and i never really LOVED any of my friends.

…so my mom always nags me that i should go hang out with my friends and suggests things for me to do with them, like hinting that she thinks i’m a loser and wants me to have a social life. my friend…and my brother always make fun of me for not hanging out more but truthfully i’m totally happy with the way i am! i’m not depressed and therefore choosing to like seclude myself from society…and i’m not like socially deficient-when i meet people i am really friendly and find conversations easy to start, i have no trouble in job interviews and stuff like that, i’m not the type of person who’s on the verge of tears speaking in front of class.

the only reason this upsets me is because other people make it such a problem and make me feel like a loser. i think my mom really thinks there’s something wrong with me because i’m not that social, and people always seem shocked and confused when i tell them i don’t have a boyfriend or i don’t have plans on a thursday night. jeez.

…do you think it’s OK for me to be like this if i’m totally happy?! or am i really a freak….

What do YOU think? Let greenbeans23 know by posting your comments in the comments section below, or reply to her directly.


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  • Don't worry– You're not a freak.

    Some people are just naturally solitary. My mother bothers me too but I just let it go. Your mother in her teen years could have been one of two extremes:

    1. The loser; she doesn't think you're a loser, its just she doesn't want you to have it bad like she did.

    2. The One with all the Friends; she probably knew everyone back in the day and doesn't want you to miss out on what she thought was fun.

    My mother is the same in the sense that she berates me for not going out all the time. But the real kicker is that my mother has separation anxeity and gives me such a hard time with going out… I, well, avoid it.

    But you're not a freak. You're just solitary by nature.