i want to pop my cherry

dear heather,
I’m scared to have sex because I haven’t popped my cherry yet and I’ve heard that it hurts. I wish I could pop it on my own, but every time I try to pop it with a tampon it doesn’t work. I can’t find my vaginal hole. What if people weren’t born with vaginal holes? What if I don’t have one?

“Popping your cherry” means breaking your hymen, which can happen many different ways. Sometimes it happens the first time you have sex, sometimes the fifth or the eight or the fifteenth. Sometimes it can break from tampons or masturbation. Some women aren’t even born with a hymen, and other women’s hymens wear away by the time they become sexually active. There’s no reason to try to “break” your hymen because you might not have one and if you do, it will wear away with time.

The hymen is just a thin lining, called a membrane, that covers the opening of the vagina. Many women don’t have a hymen by the time they become sexually active. The hymen usually wears away as a woman grows up. If it didn’t, how would our menses leave the body? Some women will have remnants of hymen tissue at least partially covering the vagina, and this is what can tear during sexual activity.

You say you have tried to break your hymen with tampons, so I’m going to assume you’ve had your period, in which case you do have a vaginal opening. If you haven’t had a period and you’re concerned that you don’t have a vaginal opening, I would recommend seeing a doctor.

take care,

send in your questions for heather to heather@gurl.com.

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Posted in: Body Issues, Virginity
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  • kim

    If a boy fingers u ,u won’t get sore it is an amazing. Feeling it is only if he puts in more than 3 finger u would start to get sore … The first time a boy fingered me he used 4 fingers and I never got sore does this mean I’m not a vergin?

  • babygurl

    Fingering may not tear your hymen. You can try stretching yourself by gradually using 2 then 3, then 4 fingers while masturbating. Alternatively you can use a vibrator. It is all about stretching yourself so you can accomodate your boyfriends penis when you have sex. Important thing is to try and relax when you have sex and to make sure you are fully aroused and wet and having an orgasm when he is penetrating you. He can make you cum before he penetrates you.
    Dont worry, it isnt the what girls make it out to be. Yes there may be a little soreness later on after you have had sex and with the bl;eeding it is so trivial you may not even notice that you have bled.
    The key is to relax, be well lubricated and forget about pain and soreness. If you are having an orgasm while he is penetrating you the feeling is awesome and the thought of pain magically fades away.

  • alice burton

    k so me and my friend are probably going to be fingered sometime in the near future, so, we don’t want it t hurt!!! how can we pop our cherry’s before our boyfriends do it?:s

    • Lily manning

      Umm it doesnt pop your cherry? but if you really want to try masturbating. or try with tampon. But unless he like shoves his hand up their it wont break anything. Mine is still very much intact and i have been fingered

    • savannah

      You should just try masturbating

      • me

        You can take an end of a hair brush and put it in. Its super painfull but it makes your first time wonderfuf