how do i get my friend to stop ditching me for guys?

dear heather,
Me and my best friend have been friends for two years. We’ve done everything together. But now, shes changed. All she cares about is boys! Everything we do has to involve a boy. For example, I was talking to one of my closest guy friends the other day and she butts in and pushes me anyway (she does this all the time) Then she’ll ditch, just because a boy’s talking to her. Then she makes fun of me in front of all (which is a lot) of her crushes so she looks better!!! Should I still be her friend? How can I fix our friendship?

Wow, it seems to me like your friend isn’t being a very good friend to you at all. But I don’t think this spells out the end of the friendship…at least not yet. The first step is to have a talk with your friend, in person and with no one else around, where you explain your feelings. Tell her that you love her, and want to continue being her friend, but it is a bit hard for you when she is constantly putting you down in front of other people. (It helps to have specific examples ready, in case she doesn’t remember, which she probably won’t.)

To look at it from her side, boys are suddenly a crazy, exciting new world, one that she hasn’t really experience before. She’s learning about relationships, how to flirt, and what is successful when trying to attract a mate (if you look at it biologically). But none of that means she has to sacrifice your friendship. So explain to her how you feel, say you know and understand why she’s doing what she’s doing, and then ask her to simply tone it down.

You’re obviously not saying you don’t want her to ever talk to boys again, but she should treat you with respect when you’re in mixed company…or any company. If she refuses? Then she may not be your friend, but cross that bridge when you come to it.

take care,

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Posted in: Dating, Friends, Help Me Heather, Love Advice
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