I recently started having sex with my friend with benefits, but everyone has no
idea. They still think I am a virgin, but in reality I am very sexually active. Do
you think that I should tell my family what I have been doing, or does it really not
matter if they know or not?
Having sex, whether it’s with a boy/gurlfriend, a friend with benefits or a complete stranger, is for most people a very private thing. Some gURLs choose to tell all their friends about their sexual escapades, whereas others like to keep things private. Depending on where you fall on the spectrum, that will help you figure out whether or not you should tell everyone in your life about your having sex.
Let’s think about your friends first. Why aren’t you telling them? Do you think they’ll judge you because you lost your virginity? Are you afraid they won’t like the guy you’re having sex with? It’s no fun if you feel like you have to keep your sex life a secret, but at the same time, it’s your life and your body, and you can choose to do so if you’re not comfortable telling them about it.
As for your family, I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with them. Do you generally have an open relationship? Most gURLs don’t get that detailed with their parents and even with siblings, it’s not that common. You should definitely get them involved if/when you think something might be wrong– i.e. you missed your period, you have unusual cramping or pain, etc. Your mom especially can help you calm your nerves and figure out if you’ll need to see a gynecologist.
But it’s totally OK to keep your sex life private. Truth is, your parents probably don’t want to know what you’re doing in your bedroom, the same way you don’t want to know what they’re doing in theirs. You don’t always have to kiss and tell, you know!
send in your questions for heather to firstname.lastname@example.org. oh and, do you tell everyone about your sexcapades? share with other gURLs below.
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