i just found out that my mom has cancer

dear heather,
I just found out that my mom got cancer and I’m not depressed or sad. Is this a bad thing, considering my mom could die?

I’m really sorry to hear about your mom. There’s no one way to deal with news of this magnitude, you know. Some people, when faced with such an enormous blow, grow numb and only feel the waves of pain and fear later. I have a feeling that may be what’s happening to you.Is your mother in a cancer treatment program? These programs usually have special counselors to help family members deal with the emotions that come up (or don’t come up) when a relative is diagnosed with cancer. Adolescent psychiatrist Dr. Frederyka Shabry cautions, however, that some counseling programs emphasize support for the person with cancer and his or her spouse, but may not offer as much direct support to the children involved. If this is the case, I would recommend speaking up about your needs. The treatment center, if your mother is involved with one, may offer individual or group counseling, or both.

If she is not in a coordinated care program, I’m sure there are people you can to turn to–family members, school counselors, or other trusted adults. It would probably help to find a “safety net” to help you explore your emotions when and if they do rise to the surface.

The best to you and your family.

take care,

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  • taylor

    I felt the excact way when i found out about my mom. I didn't really show any emotion about it, until a couple of months ago. Don't feel bad, you will deal with how you are feeling about this when you are ready.