my friend is so mean to me

dear heather,

One of my friends is driving me insane. She hates all my other friends but has all these other friends… who she always goes out with and never invites me. She embarrasses me in front of other people to make herself look better (this doesn’t really bother me, though, so I just laugh it off) and she lies horribly. Also, I gave up some of my other friends to be friends with her–not completely, but I don’t see them as much. Now they’re leaving me out of stuff too, so I’m feeling a bit lonely. I don’t want to lose her as a friend. No one is perfect and I’m sure she doesn’t mean to hurt my feelings.

This gURL does not sound like a good friend. A friendship is all about give and take, but she’s giving you nothing except stress and that definitely doesn’t count. I agree that no one is perfect, and I also believe that every person deserves a second chance, but you need to talk to your friend and let her know that the way she treats you is not acceptable.

In fact, you sound way too nice to put up with a gURL like that. She doesn’t really deserve you. She lies, she’s embarrassing, and she picks on you. She doesn’t have many redeeming qualities, you know?

You mention that you have some other friends, so focus some attention on them. They probably aren’t including you as often because they don’t really like this other friend of yours. There’s no need for a dramatic BFF-breakup or anything, but start hanging out with other friends more — and this particular friend less.

take care,
heather

send in your questions for heather to heather@gurl.com. oh, and have you ever had a long distance boyfriend? how did you handle it?

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