I’ve liked one of my really good friends for awhile now, almost all I can think about is him. Every once in awhile we mess around and sometimes we even have sex. I want to tell him how I feel so bad but I’m scared. Sometimes he shows signs that he likes me but other times he doesn’t (more signs of like then not like). I’m afraid if I tell him how I feel he won’t feel the same way and that will push him away and my heart will break into so many pieces. If that happens, I’d rather he never know. But if there is the slight chance of anything between us, I want to know. What do I do?
Feel the situation out a little bit. Does he talk about other gURLs? Does he flirt with other friends, too? Are you the only gURL he’s hooking up with? What are the signs that makes you think he likes you too? Tell me below, it might change what I’m about to say next…
But based only off what you’ve told me, it seems you’re having sex with him as a way to secure your relationship. Even if he was committed to you, sex is not a tool or a hook or a crutch to get or keep a guy. And especially since he is not committed to you, you can’t really trust him and that’s super scary.
If you choose to stay just-friends with him, do yourself a favor and stop having sex with him. Treat him how you would treat a best girl friend. Messing around is only going to hurt your heart in the long run. If he is your friend, he’ll stay around and love you for you. If he takes off because you won’t put out for him, it might break your heart but we’re here for you. You’ll get through it, and you’ll experience sex with someone who you can really trust (and trust me? it’s soooooo much better that way).
send in your questions for heather to firstname.lastname@example.org. oh, and have you ever fallen in love with a friend? how did you handle it?
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