lena’s advice: i’m the only one of my friends that’s single

being the third wheel stinks.

Dear Lena,
I’m the only one of my girlfriends who’s not in a relationship and they always leave me out of their couples activities! My friends are also constantly talking about their boyfriends and comparing them to each other. I’m sick of listening to it all, but I feel like if I say something, they’re just going to think I’m single and bitter.

Lena’s advice:
First of all, good friends don’t exclude each other just because one of them doesn’t share a common interest. If this is becoming a habit, you need to speak up about not getting invited. I’m guessing, however, that your friends aren’t doing this maliciously. Sometimes, gURLs get wrapped up in new loves or romantic drama, and they don’t notice that they’re being inconsiderate until they’re told. If you find that you exclusively talking about your friends’ relationships and no one’s reciprocating with interest in your life, then try to point out that you’re feeling overlooked. You could take a non-confrontational approach by talking about how their actions make you feel, rather than blaming them or making accusations. Chances are, if they’re good friends, they’ll be more than apologetic and adjust their behavior accordingly.

At the same time, you probably realize that relationships are a big part of gURLs’ lives, and it makes sense that your friends would want to discuss their own with the people closest to them. Even if you’re not in the same situation, try to lend a listening ear to your pals once in a while. After all, they could always use a single gal’s perspective.

Love,
Lena

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  • michster

    if your friends think you're single and bitter just cause you're not interested in their relationships, then they aren't your real friends. instead, maybe they should be hooking you up with a hot guy friend of their bfs, if that's what floats your boat 😉