my boyfriend’s shy, and so am i

dear heather,

I’m dating this guy. He’s really nice and I really like him. He’s my first boyfriend and I’m his first girlfriend, but I’ve been hurt by guys before. I don’t want to make the first move, but he’s shy and won’t make the first move. What should I do?

They say opposites attract, but that doesn’t mean two equally-shy people can’t make things work — with a little, well, work. Both of you will have to be ready to not just step, but leap, outside your comfort zone.

If neither of you want to make the first move, you’re going to have to meet in the middle or else nothing will happen. Ideally, as you get to know each other better, you’ll both be more confident taking control. If you’re shy in general, and not just around boys, having a shy boyfriend might actually be good for you because it will force you to be a little bolder than you normally would.

You don’t have to be the first one to kiss him or tell him you love him or propose marriage (if the relationship gets that far, of course), but can you grab his hand? Tell him you like him? Laugh and smile and let him know he makes you happy?

If you can’t, maybe move on to someone a little more forward.

take care,

send in your questions for heather to

Posted in: Being Different, Dating, Help Me Heather, Love Advice
  • Kaytlin

    Stay with him, and dont be shy he obviosly likes you for you so be yourself (:

  • mwaswa

    😀 Shy, you? Only around guys. I think that either you guys will make things work or you'll move on.

  • Me

    This was my question, and I just want to say thanks. This really helped 🙂

  • dylannn

    if he doesn't kiss her, she should just kiss him.