dear heather,

Do you have any advice for a girl who’s sick of feeling horny? I feel dirty and weird because I want sexual stimulation SO BAD– short of having sex, that is, because I want to be a complete legit virgin until I’m married. Anyway, I read erotic lit online and listen to sex noises, While I’m doing that kind of stuff, I feel great, but afterward I feel awful, even though I know there’s nothing inherently, or even morally, wrong about it.

You’re right, feeling sexually aroused is nothing to be ashamed of. Sexuality isn’t something our society talks about too often, but there are lots of gURLs out there who are interested in sex and think, read, and watch stuff about it all the time. It’s totally normal to go through really horny phases, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Promise, it’ll wear off.

But if you really are sick of it, you can make a conscious effort to stop reading erotic lit and do less sexually-thought provoking activities like exercise. Aerobic activity will release the endorphins that your brain is so loving right now, but it won’t channel itself sexually. And, you’ll find it should help make you a little too tired for sex.

And you didn’t say, and I don’t want to assume that you’re not, but have you ever tried masturbating? It’s a safe way to release pent up sexual feelings without having sex or hooking up.

Whatever you do, stop feeling ashamed. Your feelings are totally, 100% natural and, after all, your body belongs to you.

take care,
heather