will i always be alone?

dear heather,
Will I always be alone? Lately, I’ve been feeling alone and it hurts me every day. Whenever I get like that, I feel like nobody wants me and that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life. Is this true? Will I always carry around loneliness?
Hearing this won’t make you feel any less lonely, but you definitely aren’t alone in the feeling. Everyone goes through stages of loneliness, some more extreme than others. It’s a really strange feeling that’s hard to describe to other people, especially people you appear to be close to.

If your feelings of loneliness are a result of not having a romantic relationship, then the answer is no, you won’t always feel lonely. There’s a lot of hype about finding your “one true love” or a person who “completes you,” but you’re complete on your own. As long as you have relationships that go beyond superficialities, you won’t feel lonely simply because you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Extreme feelings of loneliness can be a sign of depression or anxiety, and you should definitely talk to someone about it. Parents and trusted adults are both reliable options, but a professional (school counselor, therapist, or psychologist) might be the best idea.

A lot of people don’t understand loneliness, and think the answer is just to “make more friends” or “get out more often.” Both of these things obviously help, but they’re more of a quick fix. But when you do find yourself feeling lonely, pick up the phone and call someone from camp or who you have been meaning to catch up to. Volunteer at a old folks home. Bake some cookies. Play gURL games. Try to find reasons to distract yourself, and guess what? You’ll probably start feeling more self-confident and self assured. IT takes a lot to do it, but promise, it’s worth it.

take care,

Posted in: Help Me Heather, Sucky Emotions, Sucky Emotions
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