i really, really want to have sex

dear heather,

I really, really want to have sex, but I’m scared that if I do all my friends will think I’m a slut. I’m 14, so some of my friends have already slept around and my other friends would totally think that I’m a whore. What should I do? Just give in and keep it a secret from certain friends, or wait a year or two?

If you are entirely 100% sure you want to have sex, and the person you want to have sex with is someone who you trust completely, and you feel that you are ready without a doubt, then don’t let what your friends might think stop you.On the other hand, if you want to have sex because you’re curious and you just want to know what it’s like, hold off. The time isn’t actually right. It’s hard not having experienced something that some of your friends have done, but once your virginity is gone, you can’t get it back. And you’ve definitely watched enough TV shows to realize that pregnancy, STDs and a lot of feelings go hand in hand with sex. You probably know how intimate a kiss is. Sex is beyond that. So, your first time should be with someone you care about and someone who cares about you, too (oh, and of course, they should be tested for any STDs as well). If you just have it with anyone, the experience won’t be something you’ll want to remember (and given today’s STD stats, you may be stuck with a lifelong disease to constantly remind you of it).

Are your friends who have had sex close friends? If so, ask them about it. If you trust them and explain that you just want to know what sex is like, they’ll probably tell you more than you want to know. And your gURLs are here to help you too, so Shout Out with your questions and such on the boards.

take care,
heather


Posted in: Help Me Heather, Love Advice, Sex, Sex, Virginity
Tags: , ,
  • Yuki

    why do you have to worry about what your friends will say or call you. Dont tell them. If you like the guy and you have made up your mind to have sex then go for it. You dont need approval from anyone. This is your body and your need. Just make sure you make sure you take precautions and dont fall prego or get STDs.
    My friends are cool and wouldnt do that. We kinda cover for each other when we do it. Its just feels awesome and if you cannot live your own life without needing approval and are worried about what your friends might think then you are going to have a very difficult time. Friends are those who accept you for what you are no matter what. They should NOT judge you or call you names. What a friend would do is to help you be safe and not get into any trouble