i think i’m asexual

dear heather,

I was wondering what exactly asexuality is, and how you know if you are asexual. Me and my friend will discuss like guys we’re “attracted” to, but I’m never just, like, physically attracted to guys. The very thought of having sex grosses me out and I’m only attracted to people I have mental connections with. Does this mean I’m asexual?

Asexuality is something that isn’t talked about a whole lot, even though it does affect around one percent of the population. The reason is because many people who consider themselves asexual maintain romantic relationships and, in many cases, have sexual relationships even though they do not feel sexually attracted to anyone. There’s a misconception that if you’re asexual, you can’t tell if will never have any sort of meaningful romantic relationship.If you mean that you only feel sexually attracted to people that you have mental connections with, then no, you’re not asexual. In fact, good for you for only wanting to hook up with people who you connect with on a deeper level than “whoa, that guy is a hottie.”

If you mean that you feel only emotionally or mentally attracted to people, and never physically attracted, then there is a chance that you’re asexual. Not necessarily, though. There’s also chance you just haven’t met a guy that you’re physically attracted to yet. Maybe you’re picky, or maybe you have high standards — there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to jump on every guy that comes your way.

For more info about asexuality, visit the Asexual Visibility and Education Network.

take care,

Posted in: Help Me Heather, Love Advice, Sex, Sex
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