i’m only comfortable with family

dear heather,
When I go over to my friend’s houses feel really out of place. I start to feel uncomfortable, and I just want to be at home with my family. I won’t let myself have fun, and sometimes I feel like I’m about to cry. This gets even worse when she (or my other friends) invite me to sleepover, and I ALWAYS end up wanting to go home. I try to avoid their phone calls, and if I do end up hanging out with them, it has to be either at my house or at the mall. I feel like such a wimp.

First of all, I wish I could meet you just so I could give you a hug. It sucks to feel like there’s something wrong with you. There’s sort of a stereotype that teenagers love being surrounded by their friends 24/7, but everyone’s different. Some people like being alone more than others; that’s the difference between introverts and extroverts. Introverts are usually reserved, prefer smaller groups, and need frequent alone time away from friends to recharge.I’m not a psychologist and I am in no place to make a diagnosis, it sounds like you might struggle with a little bit of social anxiety. It isn’t uncommon to feel uncomfortable at sleepovers, but feeling like you’re about to cry all the time is a terrible way to feel. Everyone has a comfort zone, and maybe hanging out at your friends’ houses falls out of yours. Make a point to step out of your comfort zone, but limit it. Go over to your friend’s house for an hour, then invite her to your house next time. If it doesn’t get any better, stick with middle ground like the mall.

Make an appointment with a psychologist, or pop in to see your school counselor. Although the idea might sound intimidating, relief from such strong emotions is totally worth it.

take care,

Posted in: Family, Help Me Heather
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