my roommate touched my boobs

dear heather,
I just got to college and am living with two great roommates. I can’t believe how lucky I got. All three of us bonded right away and we’ve been going out and partying a lot. Two nights ago, we had a lot to drink and even though things are still really blurry, when we got back to our suite, we all kinda piled on top of each other on the couch like laughing and giggling. And then one of the girls reached over and started touching my boobs. And I didn’t stop her because I was drunk and it didn’t feel wrong at the time. But now, I don’t know what to feel! Part of me wants to do it again and part of me is scared that she’s into me in that way. But I like boys! I’m so confused.
Alcohol makes you do, and feel, funny things, but the fact is you can like how it feels when someone touches your boobs regardless of their sex. They’re one of the most sensitive parts of your body, and when they’re stimulated, it feels good. It’s nothing to be ashamed about and it doesn’t matter whether a boy or a girl is doing the touching, and you shouldn’t feel ashamed for kinda enjoying it.

Your roommate is still great, and whether she touched you on purpose or not, there was alcohol involved so you can’t take it too seriously. For all you know, it was an accident. If she does like girls, then she likes girls and she’ll probably open up to you about it sooner or later. The thing is, if she’s a lesbian and you’re not, she’s not going to come on to you or “convert you” or anything. Like you said, you like boys. You just also happen to like when people touch your boobs, and that’s natural and wonderful.

Just give it a couple of weeks and watch your alcohol intake — but above all, don’t judge yourself too harshly! There’s nothing to be ashamed about when it comes to self-exploration.


take care,
heather


Posted in: Friends, Help Me Heather
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  • A

    the husband of my mom’s aunt touched my boobs when i was in 3rd grade (yah! my boobs where kinda of…) i never told anybody i just forgot about…till today it got back to me and well it ended up to my parents,so now they know and well i wasn’t the one who told them…and they want to hear it from me..but i can’t even say A YES with my mouth i can’t talk…the BIGGER problem is that i’m not sure (but i’m sure) that HE touched me more then once…what i do remember is a one time scene…i won’t write cause it’s too long and embarassing….i’m lost,i just don’t know if what he did is wrong…..IT REALLY BOTHER ME,and i hated him since that day till today…i’m not like the girls who cried all this years NO I FORGOT ABOUT IT cause i didn’t knew what to do and if it was wrong…it came back to me and right now i’m hurt because i got to deal with all this and it’s starting to really get me unconfurtable!!! (SORRY FOR MY ENGLISH,I’M SPANISH)

    • This is actually incredibly common. Sometimes people who experience events like this subconsciously block it out of their memory until it creeps back up on them at random moments. What he did was wrong but it’s not your fault and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it whatsoever. If it is really distressing you, you should definitely speak to a therapist about this.