how can i get the pill without my mom knowing?

Question: My boyfriend and I are thinking of having sex. However, I’m scared that I might become pregnant. We can use a condom but I’m not comfortable just using that. I am planning to go on birth control, but can I get the pill without my mom knowing?

Answer: Generally, yes. There is no law that requires a parent’s permission for the pill or other birth control. But that doesn’t mean that a doctor won’t ask you for it. Nor does it mean that your confidentiality will always be respected.

It’s really wise to get on a reliable form of birth control. Though I don’t know your family, they might actually think so too. Often parents are a lot more understanding about things like birth control than teens expect. Of course, you know your mom, and you might have a really good reason for wanting to keep this quiet. If that’s the case, it’s good to know that you can.

Here are two key things to know:

1) Find out about your doctor’s confidentiality policy. You can ask the receptionist when you make an appointment or you can ask your doctor herself. Be direct and explain that it is important that your information is not shared with your mom. If this seems like it might be a problem, consider going somewhere else.

2) Go to a clinic that you know maintains confidentiality. A good place to start is a place that receives money from something called Title X funding. Title X is a government program that pays for family planning services like pap smears, STD testing, and birth control. Anyone who receives Title X money must keep all patient information confidential, no matter how young a girl is. This means they can’t tell your mom if you got the pill. You can find a Title X clinic near you through the website of the National Family Planning and Reproductive Health Association.

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Posted in: Ask an Expert, Birth Control, Health, Sex & Relationships
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  • Kelsey

    I’m 15 yrs old me and my boyfriend have been together for about nine months now we’ve had sex for about 6 months now thing is he doent like to use a condom fo what ever reason slot older than I am anyway a while back we had a scare and thought I was pregnant and we were texting back and forth about it one day and my mom got my phone and read everything she abolitly flipped it she took my phone tv computer everything I wasn’t allowed to see him for a long time except for at school I’ve just now sort of got some of her trust back any ways point is we still are going to have sex but I’m scared that if something happens I’m going to loose my boyfriend and my moms trust forever I want to be put on birth control but my mom says that’s her way of giving me permission to have sec I don’t he my permit or liscense either one so obviously I can’t drive my self to planned parent hood my boyfriend can drove but my mom still won’t let me go anywhere with him by ourselves is there anyway I can be put on birthcontrol with out her finding out! I really don’t want to wind up pregnant at a young age for many of reasons can somebody please help

  • Lisanne

    I'm absolutely devastated by what I read on this site. These poor young girls think they are "protected' if they take this or that contraceptive not realizing that its not just the physical act of sex thats affecting them. How can you protect a broken heart? Sex was designed by God to only be between a married couple who had already made a LIFE committment to each other before sex This is a protection for the woman and the man.This protects them mentally,physically and emotionally in the vast percentage of cases if they live according to Gods ways as in the Bible.I feel so sorry for these poor girls at the mercy of this organisation dispensing free contraceptives without any advice on relationships at all. Then they think an abortion will fix it it all up if they do fall pregnant. They just don't realize the abortion industry is a huge money making business which sells baby body parts to science labs all over the world as well as other places.Most people dont know thats what happens to their babies. The sexual ed. in schools is desgned so that 3 out of 5 girls will fall pregnant and keep the abortion industry alive and raking in millions of dollars at the expense of ruined and broken lives of young girls and boys.The video 'The Monstrous Regiment of Women " probably on You Tube tells it all. You will see a former head and owner of an abortion clinic detailing how the sex education and free contraceptives is desgned to fill up the abortion clinics pockets. These poor girls don't realize they are just pawns in a massive massive campaign to destroy values.

    • Adela Maine

      It really shouldn't matter what you think.

      These people on this website give you information, they are educating anyone you visits this site. What anyone does with that information is their own business, but at the very least they have been educated! They know what goes on and how to properly protect themselves if they chose to go the route they choose. I would rather be educated properly then go through an no-sex education in which I do end up not being protected. Abstinence doesn't work, you can certainly ask Bristol Palin about that.

      I don't like your comment of "How can you protect a broken heart?". Whether you have sex or not people go through break up's. I myself have had 3 boyfriends, I am 19 years old, I am still a virgin and have gone through some heart breaks.

      What about the other religions that have successful marriages? They don't live according to your bible yet they are "mentally, physically and emotionally" ok. I have friends that are Muslim and I don't think I have ever seen a more loving and endearing partnership with any other couple. Yes having that common religion is great for a marriage but it is not by far the only reason that people are together.

      Secondly you do not know that family planning gives out "free contraceptives without any advice on relationships at all" you don't know that and I certainly don't know that. They may have counselor's there to talk to you. They may not, I have not had the pleasure of seeking this organization out. I highly doubt that they will give free birth control to just anyone and not ask questions.

      Heres a little fact from the website though. "The United States has one of the highest rates of unintended pregnancy among Western nations. Each year, half of the more than 6 million pregnancies in this country are unintended, and nearly half of those end in abortion. Publicly supported family planning services, such as those provided by Title X, help to prevent 1.4 million unplanned pregnancies each year, which would result in 600,000 abortions"

      Summary? Birth control stops abortions, if abortions are stopped this "industry" stops making money, thus they can not "sell baby body parts to science labs all over the world as well as other places"

      Personally? I would rather hand out condoms and birth control to everyone who wants one, then end up going through that many abortions. So pick the lesser of the two "evils"

  • CocoPrincess

    Your mom should understand, it would be best to talk to her. You could say u are worried about being raped & getting pregnant, although it would be a lot better to talk to her.

  • Cam

    be careful and do not just use BC by itself. my best friend got pregnant [she used the ortho-evra ring. so in my opinion it's not a reliable contraceptive] the bad part was she had her period the whole time she was pregnant and only gained about five pounds, and she never got sick. needless to say she didn't know she was pregnant until she went into labour. Yeah. it was bad. so be careful

  • Taylor K

    oh and ps to the 15yr old with the 18 yr old bf… no sure which state ur in but thats called statchitory rape my darling.
    good god people learn a little i know ur not all retarded
    Posted by: dev | Jun 23, 2008 at 10:58 AM
    So this was a board to ask questions and get answers. We dont need anyone "dissing" on anyone else. And for people who post their sex stories thats a little too much.
    We met when we were alot younger though. Im the 15 with the 18 year old. We knew each other in elementary school and grew up together. Its none of your business what i do and when i do it. You dont know me and i dont know you so get over it