can a girl lose her virginity to another girl?

Question: Can a girl lose her virginity to another girl?

Answer: Definitely! People lose their virginity the first time they have sex. Some people’s first time involves penile/vaginal sex. Other people’s first time involves oral or anal sex.

There’s no “rule” that says virginity loss can only happen from vaginal intercourse. There are just personal beliefs and a lot of people think gay guys and lesbians can lose their virginity the first time they are intimate with a partner.

As Hanne Blank, the author of the book Virgin: The Untouched History, explains in an interview with the website Scarleteen:

"Since you can’t see or feel or smell virginity or weigh it on a scale, the standards for deciding what a virgin is or isn’t can be pretty arbitrary really. Some people have felt that virginity is primarily a physical thing. Others have felt that it is really psychological, or spiritual. Or it might be defined as having some physical elements and some psychological ones as well.

"Generally, the people who have gotten to make the decisions about how virginity is defined have been people in positions of power over young women’s lives. Parents and older relatives, community elders, and especially religious and medical authorities have always had a lot of clout in terms of deciding what the critera for virginity were at any given time.”

Clearly, a lot of the folks who have been defining virginity haven’t been giving much thought to the question of whether or not girls can lose it to each other. But since the term is so fluid, we have every right to define it as we see fit. And how I see fit is to say that, yes, a girl can lose her virginity to another girl.

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Posted in: Ask an Expert, Health, Sex & Relationships, Hooking Up, Virginity
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23 Comments

  1. avatarkristy says:

    My names kristy and I’m 17 years old, and I’m lesbian, I have a 14 year old girlfriend…and we have been “having sex” with using our fingers….we’re not sure if that is loosing our virginity…but we know that we don’t need to have sex with men…or getting men’s penises in our holes…so maybe…I think you can lose your virginity to the same sex…but not so sure just yet

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