can a girl lose her virginity to another girl?

Question: Can a girl lose her virginity to another girl?

Answer: Definitely! People lose their virginity the first time they have sex. Some people’s first time involves penile/vaginal sex. Other people’s first time involves oral or anal sex.

There’s no “rule” that says virginity loss can only happen from vaginal intercourse. There are just personal beliefs and a lot of people think gay guys and lesbians can lose their virginity the first time they are intimate with a partner.

As Hanne Blank, the author of the book Virgin: The Untouched History, explains in an interview with the website Scarleteen:

"Since you can’t see or feel or smell virginity or weigh it on a scale, the standards for deciding what a virgin is or isn’t can be pretty arbitrary really. Some people have felt that virginity is primarily a physical thing. Others have felt that it is really psychological, or spiritual. Or it might be defined as having some physical elements and some psychological ones as well.

"Generally, the people who have gotten to make the decisions about how virginity is defined have been people in positions of power over young women’s lives. Parents and older relatives, community elders, and especially religious and medical authorities have always had a lot of clout in terms of deciding what the critera for virginity were at any given time.”

Clearly, a lot of the folks who have been defining virginity haven’t been giving much thought to the question of whether or not girls can lose it to each other. But since the term is so fluid, we have every right to define it as we see fit. And how I see fit is to say that, yes, a girl can lose her virginity to another girl.

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Posted in: Ask an Expert, Health, Sex & Relationships, Hooking Up, Virginity
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22 Comments

  1. avatarLolita says:

    I tink virginity is sychological. For example a certain lady in nigeria stayed a virgin till she grew up she took an oath that she was going to loose her virginity to her husband on their marriage night. One mnth to her marriage she ws raped wil u nw say dat she is not a virgin?

  2. avatarMurray Jemmott says:

    Hello there everyone. We are new right here!I’m a blogger to get a tech news site.Thats all about me

  3. avatarBaby la hot says:

    Its nt true a gal cnt lose her virgenity 2 a gal

  4. avatarFavour says:

    Can a girl disvirgin me i wana be a virgin

  5. avatarSkyler says:

    hi my name is skyler im a lesbian all way’s have been same with my girl freind aela. we gave our virginity’s to each other by poping each others cherry with each others finger it hert for a few seconds but we were so wet it made it easyer. enyway we were the first in each other in other word’s you don’t need a dilldo or a dick there for bi and strate girls. ps. suck’ to be them {=

  6. avatarSam says:

    Cut the crap when it come to sex.It is a man+a woman everything else is just foreplay.Do people think GOD is a fool.Why you think anytime a woman need kids she got to find a man to inpregnant her.A woman can get inpregnant by a man no matter she is a tomboy and he is a tranny.That mean only a man can take the virginity of a woman.If a woman never have a man penetrate you that mean you still a virgin no matter how old you are.

  7. avatarnunu says:

    i am in a realtionship with a girl and we feel connected isnt that how you should feel when you last your virginity conncted to the one you lost it too so i totally agree with this article

  8. avatarAnonymus says:

    HELL NOOO!

    i completely disagree with all of this.

    The real purpose of sex is to REPRODUCE, & if you aren't REPRODUCING, you aren't having real sex.
    Both anal & oral sex is just foreplay. And the use of toys is things anyone can use.
    Foreplay =/= sex.

    *sarcasm*
    Why not say people who "cuddle" are "losing their virginity"? It happens to be intimate too.

    Just because something is "sexual" (eg. oral, anal, etc). doesn't make it "Sex."
    So hate to be break any lesbian/gay hearts out there, but you are still virgins

    Secondly, I thought lesbians didn't like men, let alone their private areas. So why the f### are you lesbos using FAKE dicks!

    Lesbians shouldn't be allowed to use dildos, they made their choice!

    • avatarNLM says:

      Because, you FREAK, they may not be attracted to men but they are still women so therefore that’s what feels good, and they find it sexy because it’s a woman doing it. And sex is genital contact, so they can have sex. AND virginity isn’t a physical state, as the hymen can break down naturally anyway. It’s a mental state, so if you have had sex with another person of the same sex, and you feel that you have lost your virginity in sharing something like that with someone, then you are no longer a virgin. Lebians who have had sex with loads of other girls but never a man aren’t going to die a virgin, that’s just idiotic.

    • avatarMoiara says:

      Asshole! you’re a total dick. Maybe you’re a fvckin loser in bed!! Hahahaaha

  9. avatarNataliya says:

    all you girls that say you need to have intercoarse to looser your virginity..thats bullshit. Virginity is lost, spiritualy and physically. i beleive it is a personal descision actualy, how you want to loose it. Or maybe even a descision with your partner. so Flick Of

  10. avatarDelaney says:

    A girl can lose her virginity to another girl by:
    1.Getting fingered(her hymen could definitely be broken)
    2.If the other girl has sex with her w/ a strap on(dildo)
    or if any other phallic shaped object is inserted into her.

  11. avatarBecca says:

    what if you never do it with somebody of the opposite sex, because you're gay.
    are you a virgin then? for life?

  12. avatarkiwiii says:

    i think that if you feel like you've lost it, then you lost it, no matter if it's with a girl or a guy. If you feel that you've shared something strongly physical and special with someone then i think thata all there is to it. And, darlene, I'm not about to listen to ANYONE who is young and dumb enough to say "vigina hole". k?

  13. avatarcelain says:

    Oh yeah. A girl can lose her virginity to another girl. I mean having sex isn't just a penis being inserted in a vagina. It's partners pleasing one another, normally through genital stimulation. And that's can be accomplished a number of ways, just use your imagination.

  14. avatarsarah says:

    I think virginity is over-discussed. Since everyone has a different meaning for the word, it's not a useful standard. It's much better to just say what you mean when talking about sex. It's absurd psychologically and medically to have someone who is technically a virgin but has had oral and manual sex with half the town and someone who isn't a virgin who has only had that type of sex with one person. The connotations of the word virgin (pure, chaste) don't apply to real life, nevermind that it's often used to attach morals to sex that no one will ever agree on.

  15. avataradanarama says:

    I think there's more than one type of virginity, different levels of it. I think of loss of virginity as happening when you have some type of consensual intercourse. I don't think that means it has to be a man and a woman, and that other people can make their own standards that can be just as true.

  16. avatarMandi says:

    Your hymen can break a number of ways. I know mine broke when I was nine, because it bled. I was a gymnast and an avid bike rider.
    I think virginity is psychological… There are no physical signs that virginity has been lost

  17. avatarDarlene says:

    Thats not true, the only way a girl can loose her virginity is if a guy/man sticks nis penis up her vigina hole… Other than that u still remain a virgin… This article is WRONG…

  18. avatarAmy says:

    …i never would believe that oral sex is a loss of virginity…..i've always believed it just has to do with genitals..inserted in genitals…that sounded weird… i guess..men could lose their virginity its really hard to say actually…the standards for virginty are still the breaking of the hymen by intercourse with a male…so if the hymen never gets broken..but then again objects used in lesbian sex can do just that..and gay men use anal so..wow..its really hard to say…
    i stand by the fact that oral doesnt make you a non virgin…its how most little christian girls get away with keeping their boyfriends from jumping them…

  19. avatarYasmin says:

    I did believe it could happen. there isn't a way to really tell a girl is a virgin and some girls rather do oral sex before intercourse sometimes. I totally agree with you 100%

  20. avatarMelissa says:

    I never really thought about it that way. I always had morals that were sticking to the fact that you can only lose it to a guy if he breaks the hymen, but now I kinda believe "the loss of virginity" can be done by same sex couples.

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