i’m being kicked out of my clique

dear heather,
I have a group of close friends, and I guess you could call it a clique. Lately I’ve been getting left out of things, and when I try to confront them, they act like it was an accident and they just “forgot” to tell me. I see pictures on Facebook of sleepovers I didn’t get invited to, and I’m always the last one to get to the lunch table, so I either have to squeeze on the end or find somewhere else to sit. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I just feel like they’re trying to ditch me.
It’s great to have a solid group of friends, but usually a clique is less about a group of close, trustworthy friends and more of a safety net of girls who may not have the best relationship, but continue to rely on each other because they don’t want to be on the “outside.”

It’s impossible to pretend cliques don’t exist, and just as hard to pretend like you don’t care, but if you feel like they’re trying to push you out, frankly, they probably are. Girls can be really ruthless, and the reason is almost positively nothing that you did.

You deserve better, and being surrounded by girls who are constantly making your question yourself will hurt your self-confidence and hinder your personality. If they don’t accept you for who you are, don’t give them the time of day.

Instead of getting left out of weekend plans, make your own. Call up an old friend, or discover a new hobby, or ask your older sister to hang out. Rather than getting booted off the lunch table, look for a new spot. Ditching a clique (and swapping lunch tables) can sound really daunting, but the truth is, everyone will respect you for standing up for yourself.

take care,
heather


Posted in: Friends, Help Me Heather
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  • maggie

    The same thing happen to me and one of them secretly hated me and so when they did stuff they would never in Vite me and once they took a group friend goto for the end of the year and they didn’t ask me if I wanted to b in it.

    • maggie

      I sent foto