My Boyfriend Went Skinny-Dipping With Another Girl

Innocent... or not so innocent?

Dear Heather,

I’ve been on holiday for the last two weeks while my boyfriend is still in town and missing me. My grandfather, who was recently diagnosed with cancer, was rushed to the hospital a few nights ago and will be passing away shortly, so I am very stressed. On top of all that, I have something else to be stressed about. Today, my boyfriend called and told me that he could only chat for a few minutes because he was going skinny dipping with two of his guy friends and his best girl friend. This girl recently was having casual sex with a guy who has a girlfriend, so I know she doesn’t have a problem when guys cheat. My boyfriend also constantly talks about this girl when we’re on the phone. I tried confronting him about how I consider it cheating to go skinny dipping with a girl when your girlfriend isn’t there, but he doesn’t see the problem with it and it’s really making me mad. Help!

Everyone has a different definition of cheating, and the key to a relationship is to agree on those terms. Some couples might be uncomfortable with things other couples are O.K. with (hand holding, for instance, might be a gray area). If you don’t feel comfortable with the thought of your boyfriend skinny dipping with another girl, bring it up again. Ask him to step into your shoes. How would he feel if the roles were reversed? And on that note, if the roles were reversed, what would you do? Would you skinny dip with one of your best guy friends? If the answer to that is yes, then be fair and let him have fun (within reason, of course).Jealousy is a terrible feeling, especially when you have so many other things to worry about. If you suspect that he’s interested in this other girl, be straightforward about your feelings. It sounds to me that you don’t entirely trust him (especially when he’s around her), so I think you need to decide whether he’s worth all of this heartache. Don’t dump him before you verbalize your worries, but don’t hold on if he is showing obvious interest in the other girl.

take care,
heather


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