i have feelings for my stepdad

dear heather,

I have feelings for my stepdad. He is very nice to me, we get along great, but the past few days when we he hugs me, I like it in another way. Like I like him and he likes me, too. We talked about this and I am confused. I don’t want to hurt anybody. I love him and it’s not just some moment that I want to be intimate with him. I had dreams about it. I really care about him. What can I do?

Saying that you have feelings for someone older, especially a member of your family, can have serious consequences. Assuming that you are of age (18 or older) and can make a rational decision about who you want to be with, falling for someone who is already involved with someone very close to you (in this case, your own mother), is a big deal.You need to realize that while your stepdad may say he is interested in you, moving forward in that kind of relationship would probably never work out. You would be severely hurting your mom if she found out that you had feelings for him and especially if he had feelings for you.

Nothing good can come from starting a relationship with your stepdad. Think about how you would go about explaining to your mom or even your friends that you are dating him. That’s not to say that all unconventional relationships can’t work out, but one that starts with your stepdad is an exception.

In terms of your feelings for him, you’re probably confusing your admiration and respect for him for romantic feelings. There is the added element of forbidden love. You are going for something that deep down you know that you can’t have. Your best bet is to start hanging out with guys your own age so you can see the difference between being attracted to someone realistic and being interested in someone that will never be exactly who you want them to be.

take care,
heather


Posted in: Family, Help Me Heather
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  • Guerrita

    your fawking dirty thats your step dad,, thats gross i was molested by my step dad and ive lived a horrible life for years ive changed so much i grew from an innocent little girl to a chola that smokes cigarattes and weed everyday,, i get into fights all the time and i have nightmares that hes going to come for me and touch me,, get some help cuz this isnt rite you shouldnt have this feeling and neither should he,, how old are you and how old is he?? hes a dirty man if he wants to do things with you