parents and sex? (or…clearing up the big mystery)

Question: I’m wondering…Why don’t parents have sex anymore?

Answer: I’m going to tell you something you might think is nasty. They probably do. A lot of teens assume their parents don’t have sex. We’ve all heard people say, “I guess my parents must have had sex twice to make me and my brother, but I’m sure those were the only times.”

For a lot of teens, thinking about your parents getting it on is just plain gross. Plus, they might not seem affectionate, and when would they even have the time? But studies have found that married couples have sex on average of twice a week. So it’s pretty likely that your folks are doing it. They probably just aren’t talking about it with you!

We live in a society that doesn’t make it easy for parents and kids to talk about their personal sex lives (um, remember the Wisconsin mom who got charged with a crime for doing so?). But even if the strong arm of the law isn’t hanging over their heads, a lot of parents stay far away from the topic of sex, especiallly when it comes to talking about their own sex lives.

There are a few reasons for this:

  • Parents don’t know what to say.
  • Families often have strict boundaries about what is considered appropriate for family conversations.
  • If they do try to have the sex talk, kids often answer with a grunt or a dismissive sigh.
  • Parents need their privacy and it’s something they don’t share with their kids.

Still, it’s true that not all couples have sex–and maybe your parents fall into that category. If you are really curious about it, you can always ask. But I wouldn’t be shocked if they decided not to answer… Or would they? You tell me. How comfortable are your parents when it comes to talking about sex?

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Posted in: Ask an Expert, Health, Sex & Relationships
  • Midori

    I don't know if my parents are having sex. If I asked my mom she may tell me, but not details. But since I sleep so deeply there could be couples making out and having sex all over my floor each night. I probably wouldn't notice.