do guys have a problem with virgins?

Question:  I’m 18 and still a virgin. Most guys I meet lose interest after they learn this. I’m comfortable being a virgin, but do guys look at it as a bad thing?

Answer:  Some do. A lot don’t. I’m not sure why these guys are losing interest. Maybe they are all of that charming stock who only want to date girls if they think they will score. In that case, it’s probably better to cut your losses early.

Of course, there could be other reasons guys are bailing. You might have overlooked those if you assumed your virginity was the culprit.

As you know, there are guys who are freaked out by virgins. But there are also guys who are freaked out by tall girls, outspoken girls or sexually active girls.

If someone freaks out, your best bet is to keep on walking until you come across someone who doesn’t. And though it might seem tempting, I don’t recommend lying about your sexual experience to keep a guy interested.  Here’s three reasons that’s a bad idea:

  1. Lying is a lot less cool than owning your virgin status.

  2. When you do decide to have sex, it will be pretty awkward to have to act as if you’d already done it a million times before.

  3. If your partner finds out you’ve made up past hot and heavy situations, his trust in the relationship is going to be seriously compromised.

You should also keep in mind that even if seems like you are the the last virgin in town, that’s pretty unlikely. In reality, only 47% of teens ninth through twelfth grade have ever had sex, and of those only 14% have done it with four or more people.

Look, we live in a world of mixed messages. Teens are encouraged to take vows of abstinence and pledges of virginity. Yet movies like Superbad and the 40-Year-Old Virgin make virginity seem like something you need to discard at the earliest possible opportunity. It’s no wonder the issue isn’t clear cut. But not being clear-cut and being a serious roadblock to a relationship are two different things.


Posted in: Ask an Expert, Health, Sex & Relationships, Virginity
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  • Mark

    I have no problem with virgins. I have been fortunate enough to remove three girls from that status. All three are still great friends of mine and I still sleep with two of them. The third girl is going steady andI won’t ask her to cheat on her boyfriend because I hate cheating. She does know that if she breaks up with him I am available. I don’t think she will because she tells me he is super in bed.

  • Chrissy

    Okay, well im 15 years old and Im stil la Virgin. Where im from, guys take the girls that are virgin more seriously. and Plus guys like virgins becasue itis like a sign of innocence, your pure. Some freaky guys even whant to be your first, so they can say they "tapped that first". all i know is that im waiting til the right guy and when im ready. Im planning on keeping it unleast til im out of highschool. =]

  • Kayla

    Im 15 as well but sadly its ocward as well when your a virgin in theses wild towns.. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend but he is different from allot of other guys … and we have the best relationship with respect and have been friends for over 2 years.. it all depends on when your ready and who you have sex with ..and always make sure your safe is the way to go.. but everyone’s right its perfectly normal and yeah guys get a little freaked out then again its a turn on ?? just stick with what you want…

  • ANON

    Im turning 19 this year and i just recently lost my virginity, i actually had a lot of guys who wanted to be with me because i was the only virgin left that they knew of, but i had gotten into a pretty serious relationship (almost a year now) and things just naturally fell into place. I love the fact that i actually waited for the right person even though everyone else around me was doing it since i was in middle school. I dont ever regret remaining a virgin (till i found the right person that is)

  • karin

    im 16 and im still a virgin and im proud of it. i want to stay a virgin for awhile. and im not just gonna give it away to the first guy that comes along. im waiting until i kno i can trust him which means we are gonna b dating for awhile before its gonna happen. and if hes not ok with that then hes not the right guy for you to be having sex with.

  • Rona

    Guys sometimes does want a virgin because they want someone experienced…lil freaks. I am 15 and boys try to get into my pants so many times. Sometimes they don't care, they just want a hit and run. Then when they realize what the like more they stay away from the virgins..why im not sure

  • t

    I am 20, and proud to say still a virgin. I was really scared for a while that guys would look at me as a prude or something, but I recently discovered that some really love the fact that i am. The guy I am "talking" to or whatever now, loves it and is taking things really slow with me and teaching me along the way which is great. Don't worry, it will happen for you.