when is sexting not a good idea?

dear heather,
My friend has been sexting her boyfriend and I’m scared that her boyfriend is sending out the pictures. She will not listen to me when I warn her. She says that he wouldn’t do that. How can I get her to believe me and stop sexting?
Sexting is not something to be taken lightly, but that’s something that you already know and your friend should know if she is sending out inappropriate pictures. You are being a good friend by trying to warn her of the embarrassing and awful things that can happen if her boyfriend is sharing those private texts, but you might have to back off and let her learn her lesson if she doesn’t believe you.The first question to ask yourself is, do you have any evidence that he is being untrustworthy and sending her texts to someone else? If you have heard rumors about him posting the pictures somewhere, you need to tell your friend specifics. It will make a big difference when trying to prove your point. If you don’t have hard evidence, the best you can do is try to talk to your friend about other guys who have shared sexts on the internet and seriously embarrassed their girlfriends. She might find similarities between those guys and her boyfriend in question.

You also need to ask yourself if this is drama that you really want to be part of. Your involvement in a scandal like this might come back to bite you later on. What if your friend doesn’t believe you right now, her boyfriend does send the pictures to everyone he knows and then you’re stuck in a position to say "I told you so" to your friend. What will you get out of that? She will be angry at you for not being on her side when she really just needs a friend. You have probably done enough already to warn her of what could happen if her boyfriend is being shady, but if you keep pestering her, she might think that you really don’t approve of her boyfriend and she might stop sharing her secrets with you. You wouldn’t want that, right?

The best thing to do for now is to continue to tell her that you’re nervous about her sexting, but until you have proof that her boyfriend really isn’t who she thinks he is, you should probably keep your opinions to yourself.

Keep spreading the word about keeping your texts clean!

take care,

Posted in: Dating, Help Me Heather, Love Advice